When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris breathes air ... five times a day.
When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck Norris said, “Say Please.”
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.