Nervous Guy

So very sorry to hear this....my only advice is to not worry about lost vacations or trips or what you didn't do....what is most important is that you were with her and she knew you loved her...knowing that you are loved is more important than anything in this world. You obviously have done all you can do, and while you will be left physically alone, she will be with you the rest of your life, I guarantee you the memories that will turn out to be the most cherished will be something ordinary. My heart goes out to you and your wife.

I wudda offered him two bits...I can out grumpy old man you all day long.

1.29 GB

I guess the thread got locked because of some knuckleheads. .Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone for the support and the opportunity to vent. Some of you expressed some interest in the impact addiction has...here is a link to a relatively new organization that was founded by someone here in CT whose son committed suicide after a long battle with addiction and their quest to improve treatment and end the stigma of "being an addict"...it also shares perspectives from parents and loved ones...if you know anyone who is affected by addiction don't ever give up....they need you. http://www.shatterproof.org/pages/our-story

Here is something that may provide further insight. http://www.everystudent.com/wires/addiction.html Outstanding...check out that link I provided above, I sent the article to my son... Thanks GG...seems like this thread has become my personal therapy thread, which was not my intention.

Thanks. Sometimes I just can't sit idly by and let stuff slide. This is truly an epidemic and although it might start out as simple experimentation, it quickly becomes a trap and often leading to a lifetime of misery for the addict and their loved ones. Thanks, that helps...seriously. I used to have a ton of shame and embarrassment about this "situation"...but that doesn't do anything. Without sounding "cheesy" prayer is what is helping my son right now, we were never really a religious family, but he has turned to faith now as a support...hey, you have to have hope and grab onto to whatever works. right?

I can say his "latest" stint in rehab was great...90 days...clean as a whistle, came back buff as can be, motivated, clear headed and self directed. It didn't last that long until he was back at it and then he beat himself up for doing it, which caused more use, vicious circle...He back now and is on "scholarship", Most insurance covers 28 days...NOT EVEN A MONTH!! You are then deemed cured...that's why most addicts have multiple rehab visits. We are going to push for 6 months. We will see what happens. I am hopeful as always, but realistic...the thing is he's young so there's hope.

Perhaps ignorance is too charged a term...I get it, If you haven't been touched by it (be thankful to God) you just have a different POV. I don't mean to "get on a soapbox", but I have been "doubly blessed" by personal experience and vocation. I am not looking of anyone to feel pity for addicts or anything like that...I just want to dispel some common misconceptions and give some scientific facts on what can be a nightmare for all those concerned.

Possibly, since they are "addicts" when they are born, besides the obvious fetal alcohol syndrome which is a totally different thing, if these substances change the workings of DNA (as it seems it does), they are most likely born with "bad wiring". In animals, exposure to drug in utero increases "drug seeking" in adulthood, and increases the rewarding properties of the drug...it REALLY feels good. There are a ton of factors, so I doubt it's a "certainty"...but it may indeed set things up.

I understand, but my expertise comes from experiences my own son who is currently back in treatment for heroin addiction...and ironically from my job which is trying to understand the brain changes that occur with addictions and trying to come up with an effective novel compound to reverse or block these changes. The complicating factor is there is often co-occurring conditions in addiction, anxiety disorders, depression, etc...compound these conditions with the anxiety and depression that addiction does produce and you have a recipe for disaster. I am 100% certain that all addicts wish they never started...but that is just my opinion.

Believe me when I say this, most addicts do not want approval, they don't want to be addicts. They want to be "normal". The shame and depression this disease produces causes a vicious cycle. Some addicts may view overdose as a way out, but the vast majority of ODs are accidental. I have seen some statistics that suggest that for every fatal OD there are between 25 and 50 near misses....some times your luck runs out

Without a doubt, this rewiring is dependent on a lot of things, dose, length of abuse and of course predisposing genetics.

Since there is a fair amount of misconception about heroin addiction here, please allow me to clear some things up...as you may know I have up close and personal experience in this area and ironically, it's an area I conduct research in on a professional basis. IF you are interested, there are physical changes in the brain when one uses abuses drugs for a prolonged period of time...the types of changes that occur vary with the drug, but obviously, the more powerful the drug, the more profound the changes that occur. The scary thing is these changes last much longer than the length of use...some changes last for years. It changes the way you "think" and it's not just a matter of "will power" or "character"...long term drug abuse actually changes the DNA in your brain, it "rewires" the brain and changes the way it functions, even after you stop use. After an addict gets through the physical consequences of quitting, the brain remains rewired for who knows how long. Check out this link for very recent findings in this area, http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_142397.html I get very frustrated with the "dumbass" type of responses,but I do understand where they come from...also, I'm quite sure that very few addicts find their fate "glamorous", do you think someone dying of cancer thinks it's glamorous? Addiction is a lonely and sad experience...there is very little pleasure in it once you are trapped.

Seriously? I hope you never have a loved one that has an addiction to heroin...what happened to him is something I have always feared for my son. I could go on and on but that statement is ignorant and insensitive on so many levels. Wow....just wow.

I thought someone earlier in the thread said they saw him recently...and yes, the haiku's were an instant classic...ahhhh....the good old days of offtopics being mixed with Bills talk, really drove people crazy. Also, the threads that ran off the sides of the page.

19 and 0 baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss the whole Nervous clan, where did they go..but really miss my old buddies The Dean and Petrino and Mark VI.

Paragraphs are your friend.

Welcome fellow Connecticutian...er...Connecticutter...er...

and my mother was a MOFO

not that there's anything wrong with that

Beerball writes very appropriate responses.

T-Bone says DC Tom always cleans up his messes....

How old is he...like 12? HBD Tommy.

Thanks all!! Just had a wonderful dinner with ALL the family....it was great to have us all together again!!