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How Buffalo could lure a headcoach


Underdog

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As any good salesman will tell you the best way to sell a product, or in this case a head coaching opportunity,

is to emphasize the opportunities best feature.

 

I contend that Buffalo's best feature is their amazing wings.

If the head coaching offer were sweetened with all you can eat wings 24/7 plus free heart and lyposuction surgeries for the resulting obeseity, we'd have a good HC in no time.

 

Just think, if we would have tried this idea last year....we probably could have gotten Rex Ryan. :thumbdown:

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The only way Ralph is going to lure a top HC is if he travels down to wherever the coach lives and stakes out their house. Then when the HC is gone for a while, Ralph should break inside the house and set up a really big box propped up by a stick and tie the stick to a rope. Then leave a pile of money and a hot naked girl under the box

 

When the HC comes home and claims his prize, Ralph should pull the string to trap the HC and take him back to Buffalo

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As any good salesman will tell you the best way to sell a product, or in this case a head coaching opportunity,

is to emphasize the opportunities best feature.

 

I contend that Buffalo's best feature is their amazing wings.

If the head coaching offer were sweetened with all you can eat wings 24/7 plus free heart and lyposuction surgeries for the resulting obeseity, we'd have a good HC in no time.

 

Just think, if we would have tried this idea last year....we probably could have gotten Rex Ryan. :thumbdown:

Chicken wings and hookers. Oh.. and some beers!

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The only way Ralph is going to lure a top HC is if he travels down to wherever the coach lives and stakes out their house. Then when the HC is gone for a while, Ralph should break inside the house and set up a really big box propped up by a stick and tie the stick to a rope. Then leave a pile of money and a hot naked girl under the box

 

When the HC comes home and claims his prize, Ralph should pull the string to trap the HC and take him back to Buffalo

lol

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on a serious note, we need a new stadium. jesus

 

 

I don't see why. Personally, I think the Ralph is a great football venue. I think NY has enough financial problems without paying for a massive indulgent stadium. Just my opinion, but I love the Ralph.

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I don't see why. Personally, I think the Ralph is a great football venue. I think NY has enough financial problems without paying for a massive indulgent stadium. Just my opinion, but I love the Ralph.

 

maybe because you haven't been to one of the new stadiums? our stadium cries 1970 while there are some realllyy nice ones out there. not only that, but nice facilities attract coaches and players too

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Add some Mighty Taco and you have a hell of a package.

 

If Ralph can also throw in a few rides (chauffer included) in his new luxurious Ford Taurus, we might be talking about one hell of an attractive package for a prospective coach.

 

With the wings, beer, hookers, mighty, and taurus, we might just be able to lure Gary Coleman to Buffalo.

 

:thumbdown:

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maybe because you haven't been to one of the new stadiums? our stadium cries 1970 while there are some realllyy nice ones out there. not only that, but nice facilities attract coaches and players too

 

 

Fair enough, but a new stadium is also going to demand significantly higher ticket prices. How long until we start to complain about that?

 

I just view it as unnecessary, but to each their own...

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If we were really looking for ways to sell this job to a good HC and not to competitive eaters from Japan there are a few examples. The one no one picks up on and the one that would hit at the heart of the mostly pompous, self absorbed, bravado rich men who hold the position would be the challenge of unseating the hoodie as the AFC East's and really the NFL's perennial winningest coach.

 

Tell me Bill Cowher wouldn't love to prove he is better then Billicheat. Brian Billick is chomping at the bit to get his shot at New England. These guys love the opportunity to prove their dominance and twice a year on a national stage would be the perfect way. New England is on the back 9 of their dominance. Its time for a new powerhouse in the AFC East. I just hope we get there before the JETS.

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maybe because you haven't been to one of the new stadiums? our stadium cries 1970 while there are some realllyy nice ones out there. not only that, but nice facilities attract coaches and players too

 

Nuts to that. I love the Ralph. I've been to Gillette quite a few times and I hate it. Seeing Jerry World on television makes me nauseous. Bigger doesn't necessarily mean better. In fact, it's generally quite the opposite. This "we need a new stadium" mentality just because other teams have them drives me absolutely nuts.

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The only way Ralph is going to lure a top HC is if he travels down to wherever the coach lives and stakes out their house. Then when the HC is gone for a while, Ralph should break inside the house and set up a really big box propped up by a stick and tie the stick to a rope. Then leave a pile of money and a hot naked girl under the box

 

When the HC comes home and claims his prize, Ralph should pull the string to trap the HC and take him back to Buffalo

Classic.

:blink:

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