First of all, David E. Twichell is not as much fun as he sounds. We took him for a ride a few years ago, gave him a tour and some excellent intergalactic sangria (he cannot hold his liquour ... lightweight). On one of our larger crafts we have a bar called "Devine Bovine", it's what you would call a rodeo themed establishment. Well, Twichey (as we like to call him now) who by this point was three sheets to the solar winds, declared he could bull ride better than our staff sergeant. Next thing we know, Twichey climbs on Zaxon, a bovine with a most unpleasant disposition (not the staff sergeant), and he got bucked into the first row and sprained his wrist.
Ever since that night, Twichey has been going on and on about how we are mutilating cattle to make "super alien bovines" for our rodeos. It's all an elaborate lie to cover his shame from this night.
So take what he has to say with a grain of sodium chloride.