Thanks for all the advice. I can feel the stress from this team when ever the phone rings. The team is like the Bickering Bills. Its a high level team.
Before each season I pass out and discuss team guidelines. Within those guidelines it talks about playing other sports. Out of all the clubs in my town and in our league I have been the most allowing of girls to play other sports. But the guidelines always state the priority of our team over other secondary sports. I have never set up direct consequences for certain actions because I felt that was up to the disgression of the coach. But doing that leads to people saying, "Double Standards" We have a parents meeting this week and it may be time to set concrete consequences such as, Miss a practice you are benched for half of next game or come late to came you are bench for ? period of time. I do believe there is more to life than just sports and every family/player has individual circumstances that I have dealt with on a case by case basis. But its not working.
The girls get along great its the parents that feel the need to vent. This is the third time around for me coaching soccer. I never had such difficulty as with this group. Yes the rewards are great sometimes. My older team is playing High School and then off to college. When the girls see me they jump and hug me and are happy to see me come watch them play. But I went through some same issues letting players go who had baggage. But I do not if times are a changing but its more difficult no with the increase popularity of the sport.