NavyBillsFan

Redneck Newlyweds A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor. "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue." "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue. The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" "Yep, shore am," she replied brightly. "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" "Grape." HER SIDE OF THE STORY My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We had planned to meet at a cafe for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to someplace intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant, and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried. What did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but what was bothering him - was it me or something else? I finally asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because, you know, he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I wanted to confront him but didn't, so I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else. HIS SIDE OF THE STORY Played badly today --- shot 97 - - -can't putt for sh--! Felt kind of tired; got laid though. Test for Dementia" "It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test." Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin. WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR! 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2. 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is m ade from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions????? If you said "glass," then! go on to Question 4. 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"? Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question. 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor. "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue." "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue. The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" "Yep, shore am," she replied brightly. "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" "Grape." Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. >> The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the >> bush.You have AIDS". >> >> Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" >> >> "Eat 1 sausage,1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot >> sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,! 1 huge box of >> Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." >> >> Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?" >> >> Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of >> what your ass is for." HER SIDE OF THE STORY My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We had planned to meet at a cafe for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to someplace intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant, and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried. What did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but what was bothering him - was it me or something else? I finally asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because, you know, he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I wanted to confront him but didn't, so I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else. HIS SIDE OF THE STORY Played badly today --- shot 97 - - -can't putt for sh--! Felt kind of tired; got laid though.

We will see what will happen next season or two but this staff is looking very good. Bates would be stupid not to take the Bills job. The pieces are there, we got cap room (Tons with Williams, Posey, and Moulds contracts). I like the OC choice, this guy can get JP going. I dont think its JP anyways..... A total rebuild of the O line and we got a team folks..... 6-8 new players and a solid draft can make Buffalo a playoff team! (I hope)!!!

Ralph's family would be tricked by a 419 scammer and the team is moved to Niger.

Tonawanda

What list is this I made? I always tipped my pizza delivery drivers. I always paid for good looking MILF hookers Im always nice to walmart door greeters

Ever fart and try to chew the air?

Ok, No more Bioching and crying over our new HC. He may turn out to be a good one and im going to support my team either way! So go Bills!!!!!!!!!!! We need to handle player situations now! Do we keep Nate? I think he is gone..... Sam Adams... I like how he played in the beginning and end of this season and I really think he wants to stay here. I think he should stay. We draft a young DT and put him next to Sam. Eric Moulds.... I hate to say this but he may be gone. Huge cap hit and this team may want to start fresh. I love Eric and the guy is a player but I think he may want to move on and try to win the big one JP...... Can this kid play in the NFL? God only knows The "O" line.. Give me a break here, get rid of every one of these bums! Garbage, Junk, Psycho Mental Morons, Overweight Slobs! Fire them all and fill this need FIRST! Willis... Will not be able to cry about a new contract after his play this season. We will come out in 2006 will all guns loaded though. DE's This White Boy connection needs to go. ES is a good rusher, not great... We need a good end! TE We need to see what our 2005 class 3rd rounder can do. Peters needs to play TE. We have a 310 pound freek of nature the reminds me of Big Ben Coates (remember him?) This kid would be great over the middle. Try taking him down! Coaches Gray needs to find the door. Mr. Dick was running the D show While he was here (See Pittsburgh). We have MORE TALENT THAN PITTSBURGH'S D FOLKS! THAT IS A FACT!!!!!!!!! HIRE DOM CAPERS FOR DC NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OC, WHO KNOWS! Jim Hass. would be nice if he is around! Kicking NEEDED! Im tired of hitting mute and turning my head every time this guy kicks a FG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is poop and he needs to LEAVE! Jeff Posey Have yourself a warm seat on the bench or take a hike! What a mess guys....

Its tuff to love a loser man.... We see all these team moving up and the Bills jogging in reverse. It gets worse every season....

Where did you put your kiddie porn?

Could that be the plan? Piss off the fans to the point they dont fill the seats?

I doubt Gray is, we dont want to have any chance on winning so he is gone..

IS THIS CITY BUILT ON A EVIL ANTI-CHRIST BURIAL GROUND? BECAUSE BUFFALO IS CURSED! So we get DJ as coach of this team? I cant say anything yet about Dick and his plans here but this clearly a pocketbook move by Ralph. Ralph wants to win the big one before he dies? Right..... Ralph is a cheap bastard. TD put the asses in the seats for 5 years, Ralph knew things would change with the fans turning on the team and TD. So Ralph made his switch, hire Marv (A guy from the early Bills 90's glory that saw FOUR STRAIGHT superbowl loses) thinking this will keep the asses in the seats. (UPNOTE) Marv didnt build that team, some guy named Bill did.... So here we are... Another proven LOSER at the wheel and the fans of this city are forced to buy tickets or see Mayflower pull a overnighter at the Ralph moving them West.... 2006 slogan... "We already hit rock bottom, now come watch us dig!"

This site has the markings of a Nigerian 419 scam! a 100 bucks for a stock ticket? Send your money in now boys!

a good drink from any urinal will make you sick! Ill take a proven HC over any new clown the Bills are about to hire!

LIVING IN BUFFALO NY DEAR DIARY: AUG. 1 Moved to a new home in Buffalo. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE. OCT. 14 Buffalo is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on the earth. This must be a paradise. I LOVE IT HERE. NOV. 11 Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 19 Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. !@#$ing Snowplow! DEC. 22 More of that white sh-- fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That !@#$! DEC. 25 "White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother !@#$ing snow. If I ever got my hands on that son-of-a-B word who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this !@#$ing ice. DEC. 28 More of the same sh-- last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white sh--. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this sh-- tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is? JAN. 1 Happy !@#$ing New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 !@#$ing inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and sh-- for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the sh-- he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his !@#$ing head. JAN. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the !@#$er. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November. MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the !@#$ing salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of sh--. MAY 10 Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right !@#$ing mind would want to live in God forsaken Buffalo New York. SEPT 7 Today a hurricane came through and destroyed my house and I found my car 3 blocks over !@#$ing destroyed. All of my stuff is gone. I guess I should have stayed in Buffalo, the snow wasn't that bad.

sources deep within? its this like a growth deep inside your colon?

Those are some hours man! We had that on the Truman during the war. I forgot what the hell sleep was! Get some rest man!

I know thinks with the Bills is dramatic right now BUT THE SABRES ARE REAL!!!!!!!!!!!! COULD BE THE BEST TEAM IN HOCKEY When this team is healthy, they could be better which is SCARY! nhl ticket is now only 100 bucks!

I went to every game. What I saw was a team with no talent play with heart What we had last season is a team with no direction with talent. Scrap the team and start over. By the time Losman blooms (if ever) our "talent" will be old minus evans/WM

Id say the year we lost to the Titans in the playoffs. if that bullcrap trick play failed, I think we would of saw our boys take on the Rams in the Super Bowl.... Oh and win only if Doug played!!!!

Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill? A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar. Q: What do Billy Graham and the Buffalo football team have in common? A: They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Oh, Jesus." When speaking "the" precedes the number or name of any highway (The Scajaquada, The 33, The 290) Snow tires come standard on your car. You can identify an "Alden" accent. You have gotton frost bitten and sunburned in the same weekend "Down south" means Gowanda You bake with "soda" and drink "pop". Stop/Slow/Yield Signs..are suggestions. You can hold an entire conversation on the best place to go for wings, a fishfry or pizza. You see nothing wrong with watching fireworks downtown on July 2nd. You not only know what the terms "snowbelt" and "lake effect" mean - you use them on a daily basis. You save the Genny Cream Ale for special occasions. You live within 1 mile of a bowling alley. Not only do you know what it is... but you look forward to "Dingus Day" You never put your winter jacket away for the summer. You like to order beef on "weck" and are always surprised when someone doesn't know what "weck" is. You drive over 70mph on the Thruway and pass on the right. You leave your ski lift tickets on your jacket year round. You know how to pronouce, Scajaquada, Cheektowaga and Depew. The rest of the country is snowbound in the worst blizzard of the century, but you still have to walk your kids to the corner to catch the school bus. You think nothing of crossing an international border for Chinese Food. The acid rain is clearer than your drinking water. When you stop and ask for directions ... you expect to get them. You don't think Canada is to the north ... you know it's to the West. You keep the snowplow on the front of the truck year round. You have a favorite Greek restaurant. When someone says they are from "the City" - you ask "Which one?" You think Jimmy Griffin is a "real" politician You can compute a wind chill "factor" You eat Orange Chocolate. You don't have to attend the Friendship Festival to hear it! You know the difference between imported and real Canadian beer. You have not been on the "Maid of the Mist" - unless you had out of town company. You've dined at "Theodore's on the Lake". You immediatley change the channel when you hear "Hi! this is Goldie Gardner...". The winter carnival gets rained out. You call them "Pilot Field" and the "Aud" - no matter what the signs say. You define summer as three months of bed sledding. Your kids have watched Sesame Street - in French and Spanish. You don't get a coughing fit from one sip of Vernors. "Gridlock" means driving home from a football game. You wince when someone uses the abbreviation "OJ". "Rapid Transit" means hitting all the green lights. 50 degrees -- New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in Buffalo plant gardens. 40 degrees -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Buffalo sunbathe. 35 degrees -- Italian cars won't start. People in Buffalo drive with the windows down. 32 degrees -- Distilled water freezes. Buffalo water gets thicker. 20 degrees -- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Buffalo throw on a T-shirt. 15 degrees -- Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Buffalo go swimming. Zero degrees -- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Buffalo have the last cookout before it gets cold. 10 degrees below zero -- People in Miami cease to exist. People in Buffalo lick flagpoles. 20 degrees below zero -- Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket. 40 degrees below zero -- Hollywood disintegrates. People in Buffalo rent videos. 60 degrees below zero -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 80 degrees below zero -- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 100 degrees below zero -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps. 173 degrees below zero -- Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Buffalo get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs. 297 degrees below zero -- Microbial life start to disapear. Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 degrees below zero -- ALL atomic motion stops. People in Buffalo start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 degrees below zero -- Hell freezes over. Buffalo wins the Stanley Cup.

Jack said he saw a polar bear in front of Wally's Candy Store....

It was a really bad situation for TD He could never hold the phone and roll a booger at the same time

Theres him and about 10000000 others just like him.... Dont let that video fool you, thats his "Highlight" from his best games. Lets see the clips from the rest of the season and tuff games...