Tux of Borg

I enjoy watching the show at work.

I'm rusty... but isn't Russian battalion size somewhere between 12-20 SAMs? As far as Iran is concerned, their air defense network is spread out by their mountainous terrain and wouldn't be very effective against an attack.

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/national/a...x?storyid=47964 Minimum wage bill faces tax break additions after vote to end debate fails CAPITOL HILL (AP) — The minimum wage bill has run aground for now. By a 54-to-43 vote, the Senate has rejected efforts to advance the legislation. Two weeks ago, the House passed the measure which would raise the minimum wage from $5.15 an hour to $7.25. Opponents say the increase must be accompanied by new tax breaks for restaurants and other businesses that rely on low-paid workers. The vote sends a message to House Democrats and liberals in the Senate that only a hybrid tax-and-minimum-wage package will succeed in the Senate. Raising the minimum wage is one of the new Democratic Congress' top priorities. It hasn't changed in ten years.

Ed's waiting for someone new to join the board so he can accuse them of being crayonz.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070128/ap_on_...suit_settlement Fla. teen gets $35G in topless lawsuit Sat Jan 27, 8:58 PM ET PENSACOLA, Fla. - A teenager who sued the city after claiming a police officer forced her to do jumping jacks while topless has reached a $35,000 settlement, officials said. The City Council unanimously approved the settlement Thursday, City Manager Tom Bonfield said. Officer Shawn Patrick Shields found the girl, then 16, and a 19-year-old man together in a parked car in April 2003. Shields ordered the two teens out of the car, then told them he could arrest them for lewd and lascivious behavior, authorities said. The girl told investigators that Shields told her to perform five topless jumping jacks, which she said she did as he shone his flashlight on her. Both teenagers passed polygraph tests. Shields was later fired and pleaded no contest to extortion. He was placed on probation for two years in December 2003 and ordered to write a letter of apology to the girl. The name of the girl's attorney was not immediately known.

http://www.dailymail.com/story/News/+/2007...%2C+crashes+car Man gives finger to sheriff, crashes car by Matthew Thompson Police said they arrested a South Charleston man for driving under the influence after he flipped his middle finger at Kanawha County Sheriff Mike Rutherford and then crashed his car. Glenn Harold Vickers, 53, was arrested Thursday night near the Microtel Inn off the Montrose Drive exit in South Charleston. The incident occurred while Rutherford was driving home from a County Commission meeting. Rutherford left the meeting at the Virginia Street courthouse around 7:45 p.m., he said. He then got on the Oakwood Road ramp and began heading west on Interstate 64. Rutherford said that while he was trying to merge with traffic, he noticed Vickers' 1997 Mercury station wagon weaving over into his lane. Rutherford said he merged and then he headed down the straight stretch of the interstate. Vickers' car fell behind Rutherford's unmarked black Jeep Laredo. Vickers then allegedly began to tailgate Rutherford's Jeep, Rutherford said. "I thought he was going to ram me," the sheriff said this morning. "He'd come right on my bumper, then he would just back off." Rutherford said that after Vickers crowded his Jeep's bumper three times, he radioed police headquarters to see if there were any other officers in the area. By this point, Rutherford's car and Vickers' car were approaching the Montrose Avenue interchange. Rutherford said Vickers took the exit and as he did, he extended his middle finger toward the sheriff. Vickers then crashed the right side of his station wagon along the exit's guardrail, Rutherford said. "He was looking directly at me, giving me the finger and just ran into the guardrail," Rutherford said. "There's no question in my mind he was not paying attention." After crashing, Vickers continued to travel down Montrose Avenue, Rutherford said. Sheriff's deputies arrived after Vickers parked his car at the Microtel Inn on Second Avenue. Rutherford said Vickers failed a field sobriety test and declined to take a Breathalyzer test. He was then taken into police custody. Rutherford said he's not sure why Vickers made the obscene gesture. The sheriff said he had never met Vickers before. "When he was stopped and I introduced myself, you could tell he was surprised," Rutherford said. "It was like all the air was taken out of him." Police said Vickers was released on bond. A court date has not been set

How can you conduct a poll in a place as diversified as Iraq?

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews....xml&src=rss Boy's screaming kills chickens? BEIJING, Jan 24 (Reuters Life!) - Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in east China -- and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog, state media reported on Wednesday. The bizarre sequence events began when the boy arrived at a village home in the eastern province of Jiangsu in the summer with his father who was delivering bottles of gas, the Nanjing Morning Post reported. A villager was quoted as saying the little boy bent over the henhouse window, screaming for a long time, after being scared by the dog. "One neighbor told police that he had heard the boy's crying that afternoon and another villager confirmed the boy screaming by the henhouse window," the newspaper said. A court ruled the boy's screaming was "the only unexpected abnormal sound" and that 443 chickens trampled each other to death in fear. The boy's father was ordered to pay 1,800 yuan ($230) in compensation to the owner of the chickens.

http://www.wftv.com/entertainment/10827467...sp=irresistible Brad Pitt Says Strippers Changed His Life POSTED: 6:42 pm EST January 23, 2007 NEW YORK -- The quote of the day comes from Brad Pitt who said, "Strippers changed my life." Pitt told Newsweek that one of his first jobs was to drive strippers to bachelor parties. He said he would catch their clothes and collect the money. One of the strippers was taking an acting class. Pitt said he went to the class to check it out and it set him on the path to where he is now.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2007/...e-sex-with.html Paris and Jenna Might Have Sex With You Producers are holding open auditions for males between the ages of 18 and 34 to participate in a new reality show called Virgin Territory where the winner will lose his virginity. The winner's possible prize? Jenna Jameson or Paris Hilton. Hilton and Jameson have been contacted about "participating" in a reality show currently in production called "Virgin Territory," in which a group of the uninitiated will find their way to the promised land. Ironically, it's being brought to TV by the purveyor of Paris' sex tape, Kevin Blatt, who predicts that even more people will watch "Territory" than "One Night in Paris," Hilton's infamous night-visioned romp." Not to nitpick here, but don't you technically have to touch a vagina to be considered "not a virgin?" Paris and Jenna are so bored out, the six condoms the guy would have to wear wouldn't even help him hit a wall. He might as well have sex with a manhole. You should really start thinking about moving out of your grandparents' basement and cancelling your World of Warcraft party if you ever find yourself entering a contest where Paris Hilton's vagina is the prize. Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz at the AVN awards earlier this month:

http://www.11alive.com/news/article_news.aspx?storyid=91021 Vick Video at Miami Airport Erased Provided By: The Associated Press Last Modified: 1/24/2007 4:44:50 PM ATLANTA (AP) -- A security video showing Falcons quarterback Michael Vick surrendering a water bottle to a security screener at Miami International Airport was erased because it would not be needed for evidence. The January 17 video was part of the investigation into the water bottle with a hidden compartment that an initial police report said contained a “small amount of dark particulate” and an odor consistent with marijuana. Authorities this week said lab tests showed no evidence of drugs, and the bottle is no longer considered evidence in an investigation. Vick was cleared by police of any wrongdoing. The Miami-Dade Police Department said in responding to a newspaper’s request for the video that it had been erased because it is no long part of an investigation.

http://blogcritics.org/archives/2007/01/22/094220.php Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy Track Listing Revealed? Written by Brandon Daviet Published January 22, 2007 A bunch of internet sites are suddenly buzzing with rumors that the track-list for the long awaited new Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy has finally been announced. While there is no official conformation yet, this seems to be a promising sign that the album may actually come out on March 6th as Axl Rose stated himself in a lengthy post on the band's official website. In my experience as a music critic, the announcement of a track list usually means the album has been handed into the record company. Many of the songs, listed below, are certainty in existence and several of the tracks, including the guitar-driven title track, were performed during Guns N’ Roses last few tours. This makes the likelihood of this track-listing being accurate a fair bet, and only risky in the fact that it is Axl Rose we are talking about here. "Better" "Catcher in the Rye" "Chinese Democracy" "I.R.S." "If The World" "Madagascar" "Prostitute" "Sorry" "The Blues" "T.W.A.T. (There Was A Time)" "Rhiad and the Bedouins" "Oh My God" "Silk Worms" "Ides of March" The next logical question for fan-boys and fan-girls to debate is what the first single should be. Being a big Guns N’ Roses' fan-boy myself (I just traveled from Denver to Seattle to see the band in December) my vote is for the song "T.W.A.T." Out of all the songs I’ve heard or seen performed from the album (8 out of 13) "T.W.A.T." is easily the best choice, although the title's acronym may very well exclude it for being the first single for obvious reasons. An internet poll I saw on a Guns N’ Roses' fan site had "Better" in the lead. However, I personally think "Better" is the weakest, but still listenable, of the new tracks. Then again my tastes have always ran contrary to popular opinion. By the way, you can hear most of the songs on You Tube if you're so inclined. I’m fairly confident that the first ballad from the record will be the sweeping "Madagascar." Based on the overwhelming popularity of "November Rain" I think Axl would be crazy (Oh wait, he is) not to put this out as the ballad. I only ramble on about these things because after ten-plus years of reviewing music, I have learned that a good track-list and good single choices can make or break an album. Given that Chinese Democracy has to live up to the same kind of hype that surrounded the second trilogy of Star Wars movies I think this warrants some serious consideration. Of yeah, and I am retarded for Guns N’ Roses! I would expect, pending that this rumors turn out to be true, that we may see some cover art for that album next, and announcement about the first single sometime in February. If you want to be updated on all things Guns and Roses I highly suggest you visit gnrdaily as the countdown to Chinese Democracy continues.

http://www.hotpopsongs.com/Music/Billboard/1987.html 1987 Billboard's Top 20 Songs & Artist # 1 Faith - George Michael # 2 Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi # 3 Alone - Heart # 4 With Or Without You - U2 # 5 La Bamba - Los Lobos # 6 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) - Whitney Houston # 7 Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship # 8 I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 # 9 Didn't We Almost Have It All - Whitney Houston # 10 I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) - Aretha Franklin & George Michael # 11 At This Moment - Billy Vera & The Beaters # 12 I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany # 13 (I Just) Died In Your Arms - Cutting Crew # 14 Lean On Me - Club Nouveau # 15 Bad - Michael Jackson # 16 Shake You Down - Gregory Abbott # 17 Here I Go Again - Whitesnake # 18 Always - Atlantic Starr # 19 Head To Toe - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam # 20 Shakedown - Bob Seger

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980s_in_music o U2 (The Joshua Tree), R.E.M. (Document), and Midnight Oil (Diesel and Dust) release albums that signify a move back towards politically and socially aware music o Death's Scream Bloody Gore helps to define the burgeoning death metal scene o Noise pop emerges with releases from The Jesus and Mary Chain (Darklands) and Yo La Tengo (New Wave Hot Dogs) o The term world music is first used as a marketing category to describe several dozen kinds of folk music from around the world; the term immediately draws criticism from artists like David Byrne and other critics o The Gipsy Kings' "Djobi Djoba" and "Bamboleo" mark the commercial emergence of Sevillana, a pop-oriented flamenco music, in Europe o Bon Jovi's Livin' On A Prayer, from the record selling album Slippery When Wet, becomes the biggest selling song of the year. o Guns N' Roses releases Appetite for Destruction and dominate the American music scene for the year with an arena rock and thrash metal-influenced sound; in Europe, Celtic Frost's (Into the Pandemonium) influence and sales peak o Ian MacKaye's Embrace LP Embrace and Rites of Spring's EP All Through a Life are said to be the beginning of emo music, based around MacKaye's Washington DC label, Dischord Records o Guy's Guy is often considered the beginning of New Jack Swing o Los Lobos' "La Bamba" and Linda Ronstadt's Canciones de Mi Padre surprise success revitalizes Mexican-Texan music o Whitney Houston's sophomore album Whitney keeps her career full-speed. It becomes the first female album (and only 5th album ever) to debut at #1, and contains 4 number one singles.

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/shared-gen...ana_Police.html Police in Tijuana Issued Sling Shots TIJUANA, Mexico — The police department has issued about 60 slingshots to officers in the violent border city of Tijuana, where soldiers confiscated police weapons two weeks ago on allegations of collusion with drug traffickers. Municipal police spokesman Fernando Bojorquez said Monday that the slingshots, along with bags of ballbearings, were given to officers patrolling areas of the city visited by tourists. Tijuana's police force of 2,000 officers has been without guns since Jan. 5, but some patrol alongside armed state police. President Felipe Calderon sent 3,300 soldiers and federal police to Tijuana at the beginning of January to hunt down drug gangs. The soldiers swept police stations and took officers' guns for inspection amid allegations by federal investigators that a corrupt network of officers supports smugglers who traffic drugs into the U.S. The weapons are still being checked. About 100 police demonstrated outside Tijuana town hall on Monday demanding the return of their guns. "The arms are our tools for work," said officer Juan Manuel Nieves. "Do they want more police to be killed?" More than 300 people were slain in Tijuana last year including 13 police officers.

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/10796669/detail.html Airport Bathroom Indecency On The Rise ATLANTA -- Atlanta Police have arrested 11 men on indecency charges at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in the past month alone – two of them, college professors. Investigators believe an internet site is encouraging men to meet there. Channel 2 has been digging through police reports and we found nearly a dozen men who police say have used the bathroom at the airport to try and hook up with other men. Officers want everyone to know this type of illegal activity won’t be tolerated. A men’s restroom at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport has become the playground for men who want to pleasure themselves in public and try to pick up other men according to police. Since December, officers have arrested and charged 11 men with public indecency. The list includes University of North Carolina Professor Dr. Hugh Tilson and Spelman College Professor Lev T. Mills. “He was masturbating while watching other patrons in the restroom,” explained B.C. Williams with the Atlanta Police Department. We were there when Mills went to court to answer the charge. The men are accused of using what’s known as the “West Crossover Bathroom” to commit their crimes. Police think they know what the bathroom has become such a hot spot. “We have found web sites where people have mentioned meeting at Hartsfield-Jackson,” said Major Darryl Tolleson with the APD. Police reports indicate men from North Carolina and Missouri have traveled to Hartsfield-Jackson and were arrested. One man focused his attention in the bathroom on military men and another performed sex acts with children nearby. “Makes me want to go to the bathroom before we come to the airport,” said parent Anthony Montoya. Police have been very successful catching the men because of plain-clothes officers. “The plain-clothes units have been absolutely a key part of keeping this airport safe,” said Maj. Tolleson. Officers have a message for men planning to come to the airport and use the bathroom for their dirty deeds. “If you want to conduct any type of criminal activity you need to find another place,” Tolleson said. Police want to stress that no one has been sexually assaulted and once again they say their plain-clothes officers have done a wonderful job catching the suspects. Detectives are also monitoring web sites and trying to re-direct the activity that’s encouraging the men to come here.

Jump the shark. His brother is a terrorist? Is Jack the father of the kid? etc...

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2813235&page=1 Details Emerge About Possible Terror Threat Suspects, Reportedly Tied to Al Qaeda in Iraq, Sought Student Visas By PIERRE THOMAS WASHINGTON, Jan. 22, 2007 — - Mimicking the hijackers who executed the Sept. 11 attacks, insurgents reportedly tied to al Qaeda in Iraq considered using student visas to slip terrorists into the United States to orchestrate a new attack on American soil. Lt. Gen. Michael D. Maples, head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, recently testified that documents captured by coalition forces during a raid of a safe house believed to house Iraqi members of al Qaeda six months ago "revealed [AQI] was planning terrorist operations in the U.S." At the time, Maples offered little additional insight into the possible terror plot. ABC News, however, has learned new details of what remains a classified incident that has been dealt with at the highest levels of government. Watch Pierre Thomas' full report tonight on "World News with Charles Gibson." Sources tell ABC News that the plot may have involved moving between 10 and 20 suspects believed to be affiliated with al Qaeda in Iraq into the United States with student visas -- the same method used by the 19 al Qaeda terrorists who struck American targets on Sept. 11. U.S. officials now require universities to closely track foreign nationals who use student visas to study in the United States. University officials must report international students who fail to arrive on campus or miss class regularly. In August, the FBI and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement alerted intelligence agencies and state and local law enforcement about 11 Egyptian students who had failed to report to their classes at Montana State University. The students were ultimately apprehended. Still, despite the heightened precautions, some security analysts fear that skilled terrorists -- handpicked because of their clean records and because they are carefully trained -- could still slip through an academic setting. The plot was discovered six months ago, roughly the same time that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of al Qaeda in Iraq, was killed by coalition forces. Sources tell ABC News that the suspects involved in the effort to launch the U.S. attack were closely associated with Zarqawi. The plan also came only months after Ayman al-Zawahiri, al Qaeda's No. 2, had requested that Zarqawi attempt an attack inside the United States. "This appears to be the first hard evidence al Qaeda in Iraq was trying to attack us here at home," said ABC News consultant Richard Clarke, former chief counterterrorism adviser on the U.S. National Security Council. The plan was uncovered in its early stages, and sources say there is no indication that the suspects made it into the United States. Officials also emphasize that there is no evidence of an imminent attack. The hunt for suspects continues, however, and some fear that al Qaeda recruits in Iraq could be easily redirected. "Anyone willing to go to Iraq to fight American troops is probably willing to try to come to the United States," Clarke said.

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/stor...5007132,00.html Girl begs to be with sex molester A 16-YEAR-OLD girl yesterday won a court order allowing her to reunite with a former netball coach convicted of sexually assaulting her when she was just 14. In what is believed a NSW legal first, the girl won an appeal against an apprehended violence order – despite her family's wishes – to see the man. Magistrate Alan Railton's order in Wyong Local Court effectively means, as long as 39-year-old Graham Andrew Mulholland is nice to the teenager, he can resume contact with her. It is understood the girl's mother is furious at the decision. Prosecutor Sergeant Simon Young opposed the application, saying she was "of the age where she can be easily led". The decision also sparked outrage among children's rights advocates who warned it set a dangerous precedent. Mulholland (pictured leaving court with the girl yesterday) was convicted in October 2005 of indecent aggravated assault against the girl and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against former wife Kim. Mulholland, of San Remo on the state's Central Coast, was originally charged only with breaching an AVO taken out by the girl's family amid fears the pair were engaging in a sexual relationship after intimate text messages were found. The charge was upgraded to indecent aggravated assault after video footage was seized by police showing Mulholland and the then 14-year-old girl, who he called "Angel", engaged in sexual activity in a car parked on a remote road. Mulholland is estranged from his wife after he assaulted her when he overheard a telephone conversation between her and the girl's mother on July 9, 2005. He slapped his wife several times in the face and threatened to kill her before leaving and picking up the young girl and fleeing the Central Coast to Mudgee, where they shared a double bed for two nights. Mulholland pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to 20 months in jail, but appealed against the severity of the sentence. Judge Colin O'Connor reduced the jail sentence to a suspended sentence in Gosford District Court in December 2005 after finding special circumstances warranted the reduction. The AVO that the girl sought to revoke in Wyong Local Court yesterday stated Mulholland was not to approach or contact the girl in any way, and was not to assault, harass, intimidate or threaten her or any person related to her. The girl's solicitor Roland Day told Wyong Local Court yesterday the girl was mature enough to make up her own mind about the relationship. He then asked for the matter to be dealt with under the Children's Court jurisdiction. "So she wants to be an adult on one hand and doesn't want to be on the other," Mr Railton asked Mr Day following his application to move the matter to the Children's Court. When Mr Day argued the girl had only been 14 at the time of the offences and should be dealt with under children's law, Mr Railton granted his application. Court papers said the AVO was modified to permit Mulholland and the girl to contact one another. However it still contained the conditions that Mulholland must not intimidate, molest, assault, stalk, or otherwise interfere with the girl or any of her relatives. The girl's mother, who has been estranged from her daughter for some time, said while she was angered by Mr Railton's decision, she hoped to rebuild their relationship.

I fought the law and the law won.

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=27033 Oprah Speaks Out On Baby Story Betrayal Oprah's half sister leaks story to the newspapers... Oprah Winfrey cried for three days following the leaking of a story that she gave birth at the age of 14. The relative, although not named in the February issue of O magazine, is said to be Oprah’s half sister Patricia Lloyd. Oprah said: "She sat in a room, told them the story of my hidden shame and left their offices $19,000 richer. "I took to my bed and cried for three days. I felt devastated, wounded, betrayed. How could this person do this to me?" Oprah went on to add that the secret had proved to be, ‘much less shameful than she imagined’. She also stated: "Only my family and closest friends knew. I would tell no one until I felt safe enough to share my dark past - the years I was sexually abused, from age 10 to 14, my resulting promiscuity as a teenager, and finally, at 14, my becoming pregnant.

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/16353073.htm Wikipedia is hardly authoritative on any subject By DEREK DONOVAN One of the most important tasks of a readers’ representative is to make sure the newspaper gets its facts straight. I’m gratified that readers never seem shy about pointing out errors in the The Kansas City Star. I always try to verify information from independent, disinterested resources, as any journalist should. That’s why I’ve been chagrined lately to see more and more readers citing Wikipedia as proof of their assertions. Wikipedia, which calls itself “the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit,” is a Web site containing more than 1.5 million articles on a vast array of subjects, including current events. Created in 2001, it has rapidly become one of the key informational sources on the Internet, with heavy hitters like Google Earth referring to its content. The concept seems interesting at first: Call upon everyone with Internet access to contribute, in the hopes of creating a constantly evolving, peer-reviewed body of knowledge that anyone can use for free. In reality it’s an abject failure. I find it depressing that so many people, including many scientists, consider it authoritative. Since anyone can instantly edit an article anonymously at any moment, there is an unceasing flow of vandalism to entries, especially on controversial topics. Plagiarism is widespread and difficult to identify. Obviously, users can edit information pertaining to themselves. Early podcaster Adam Curry was famously caught altering an entry to omit references to his competitors — the very model of a conflict of interest. People often engage in “edit wars,” in which opposing authors change details back and forth until one side wins through sheer tenacity. Entries are written by ardent fans and zealous foes, and dispassionate voices are rare. The biggest problem with Wikipedia, though, is its utter lack of intellectual proportion. As of this writing, the entry on the purely fictional discipline of “lightsaber combat” from the Star Wars movies runs more than 14,000 words, while the real-life sport of fencing gets just over 9,000. Franz Schubert’s entry is 3,200 words vs. Britney Spears’ 5,200. You simply can’t parody something so ridiculous. All you Wikipedians, please spare me the angry e-mail. Feel free to use the site all you want (though I certainly have sympathy for teachers who have to vet today’s Wikified term papers). Just remember that being able to change a “fact” yourself doesn’t make it true. Wikipedia has no more credibility than any other anonymous source when it comes to ferreting out errors. It’s popular because it’s free, not because it’s good.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/30/worst_movie_romp/ Showgirls clinches worst movie sex scene award Pool romp 'like a scene from Jaws' It's official: the pool romp scene from Showgirls - featuring Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time. In awarding the crown to Paul Verhoeven's lamentable waste of celluloid, Empire magazine has at least ensured that it will go down in history for something besides possibly being the worst film ever made*. An Empire spokesman said of the outrage: "It's supposed to be the best sex in the world but, as Berkley thrashes around in the water, it looks more like the first ten minutes of Jaws." Well said. Sloppy seconds in the list of shame went to Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche for Damage, with Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes humping their way to third in Killing me Softly. Disappointingly, Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss in Matrix Reloaded only merited ninth spot, although it's good to see veteran rumpy-pumpy merchant Joan Collins honoured at 10 for her 1978 coupling with Oliver Tobias in The Stud. We'll leave the last word to Empire, which carries this reasoned analysis of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Gigli: "When Ben's chauvinistic mobster Larry Gigli gets it on with J-Lo's lesbian assassin Ricki, the scene is cold corny and lame. But what really sends it over the top is Ricki's infamous 'It's turkey time, gobble, gobble' as a call to oral foreplay. Unfeasibly bad, the pair, while sexy as hell on their own, together here couldn't generate enough heat to toast bread." The Top Ten Worst Movie Sex Scenes 1. Showgirls: Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan (1995) 2. Damage: Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche (1992) 3. Killing me Softly: Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes (2002) 4. Body of Evidence: Madonna and Willem Dafoe (1993) 5. Crimes of Passion: Kathleen Turner (1984) 6. The Specialist: Sharon Stone and Sly Stallone (1994) 7. Gigli: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (2003) 8. 40 Days and 40 Nights: Matt Sullivan and Shannyn Sossamon (2002) 9. Matrix Reloaded: Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss (2003) 10. The Stud: Joan Collins and Oliver Tobias (1978)

Living up to the hype.

I've seen guys burn in from parachute jumps and walk away like nothing happened.