Steven in MD Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 My wife is cool with this as she knows its my sanity check with her mother. 376329[/snapback] That is the key. The initial post stated that the wife took the MIL side. When that happens, you will never get the chance to fish, because MIL and wife will sabatoge it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Good point Steven. Just as an aside, had a great day Saturday morning, had a nice flouder breakfast!!!. Morning ended kinda bad as a hooked into a ray that no chit was 4 feet from tip of tail to snout. Shoes were up on the breakwall, and I wasn't touching that dam thing without having a good hold of it with my foot, so off went the bottom rig, with no more in the tackle box. So there is some ray out there with a three pound sinker and two hooks in its mouth swimming off the coast of VA beach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I can't wait to hear today's drama with the SIL, her boyfriend, her son, and my MIL. Try to think this through clearly and make sure you're not trying to control the situation yourself! For the sake of your marriage - stay out of this drama. It was started long before you came along. Let them handle it, and just be there for your wife if she chooses to discuss it with you - don't bring it up first even if you have to bite holes in your tongue. In the long run - you'll be better off. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCDAWG Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I feel as if I need to reply to you. Just went through the same exact thing. In fact we moved to NC to get AWAY from my mother -in-law. The people on this board were really helpful. I was at my last straw, and my wife stepped up and put her foot down. She said that she needed to be respected as an adult and wife. Of course the MIL thought that it was me telling her what to say. But the result is we are no longer talking...actually she isnt talking to us, but results achieved. If your wife wont stand up, then you need to. It got so bad when we were living in fla, we couldnt get the whole family together because the MIL didnt like this or that person and would make an ass of herself. If you need some more ideas or comfort or whatever, let me know...I FEEL FOR YOU, it does suck....but you need to focus on your relationship and what is best for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Golf is also good for this, as is bowling. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws. But when they live all of 10 minutes away, it tends to get to be a bit much. My wife's family is TIGHT. So, I golf. And I bowl. And I drink. A lot. 376336[/snapback] My neighbor is in your shoes. He married into a very large, very tight family. Large family means lots of kids. Lots of kids means lots of events. Lots of events mean lots of time with her family. There's not a golf ball, fishing pole or bowling alley that can save this man...so he replaces all three with alcohol and the occasional smoke on my side of the fence when he knows I'm out there sneaking one. Family is way overrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 My neighbor is in your shoes. He married into a very large, very tight family. Large family means lots of kids. Lots of kids means lots of events. Lots of events mean lots of time with her family. There's not a golf ball, fishing pole or bowling alley that can save this man...so he replaces all three with alcohol and the occasional smoke on my side of the fence when he knows I'm out there sneaking one. Family is way overrated. 376452[/snapback] He should make it a point to eat large quantities of lentils whenever possible. He well be left alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven in MD Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Another issue that has not been raised, but is the biggest issue facing marriage today, money. As baby boomers start to age, they will use their wealth as leverage to ensure that their kids put their parents before their spouse. If the wife had an inheritance at stake, she might be more willing to side with the family to ensure that her kids are financially stable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallow Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Ok, here's the deal... I feel like making a LAMP. It's the off season so deal with it. Anyhow, my wife of a year is VERY close with her mother and father. She is the stereotypical good girl. went to college, met, dated and married me (some would argue a halfway decent guy) and now is a teacher. Her little sister on the other hand was the bad girl. Got kicked off of sports teams, trouble at school, dropped out of college, dated bad a$$ boyfriend, got knocked up, had a kid, still dating boyfriend, living on welfare and handouts from her mother, etc. Ok, that's the background. Now, the mother in law... She's very very controlling, all knowing, always right, italian, stereotypical overbearing mother. well, my wife's parents drove 600 miles to visit our new house and have been here all week. I'm ready to drink the entire fayetteville, nc cache of jack daniels at this point. mom in law has literally been on the phone with my wife's sister every hour since they got here, using her cell phone, my cell phone, and our land line. Mom in law is so controlling, its ridiculous. She takes her checks, puts them in her own account and acts as the banker for her daughter. Yes, her daughter is extremely immature and probably couildn't find her way out of a paper bag, but she is 22, living with her boyfriend, and has a 1 year old son of her own. Long story short: Mother in law's antics drive me absolutely nuts. She's driven my wife's father to clinical depression, which he's taking meds for. She's basically unofficially adopted my nephew, and completely written off my sister in law as a mother. She's left my wife alone pretty much, because she's "the good child". The real kicker is that i can't mention anything bad about the mother in law to my wife, even if its so obvious that she brings it up. I've pretty much completely had it. Short of going on a 4 day drinking bender, what options do i have? I dropped about 60lbs of 10-10-10 on the lawn about 4 days ago and it looks like a jungle out there, so that's 2 hours of yardwork. I can wash cars tomorrow too. I really need to lower the stress so i don't say anything to piss off my wife, or accidentally slip up and say something to her mom. Again, i appologize for putting blog material on the board, but most of you know i don't usually post crap like this, so cut me some slack. 376165[/snapback] Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff. Just let it go. Go with the flow. Carpe Diem and all those other cliches. In the grand scheme of things, it's not worth getting worked up about. Just grab a beer and chil. If you keep this mind set, only the things that really should bother you, will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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