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OT - Why did the chicken....


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"This is the nineties. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first."

 

Joe Hallenbeck: Leather pants.

Jimmy Dix: Yeah.

Joe Hallenbeck: What's something like that run?

Jimmy Dix: Six-fifty.

Joe Hallenbeck: Six hundred and fifty dollars?

Jimmy Dix: Yeah.

Joe Hallenbeck: They're pants.

Jimmy Dix: Yeah.

Joe Hallenbeck: You wear them?

Jimmy Dix: YES.

Joe Hallenbeck: They don't, like, have a TV in them or something?

Jimmy Dix: Nope.

Joe Hallenbeck: I am very old

 

Jimmy Dix: Right now I'm trying to figure out which one of you looks like my dick.

 

Jimmy Dix: Maybe I could take your daughter horseback riding. How old is she?

Joe Hallenbeck: She's 13, and if you even look at her funny I'm gonna shove an umbrella up your ass and open it.

 

"Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd kill everybody and smoke some cigarettes."

 

Joe Hallenbeck: Hey Flash, rescue attempt?

Jimmy Dix: Blow me!

Milo: You must be James.

Jimmy Dix: James?

Joe Hallenbeck: He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.

Milo: I trust you're alone.

Jimmy Dix: No, I got the fuggin' Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?

Joe Hallenbeck: Just you, kid.

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The hits keep coming. One of the best DVD's I own. I think it was $7.99 at Media Play.

 

Of the top of my head....

 

Jimmy: "That's not funny, I could have been killed!"

Joe: "Tragic loss to the art world."

 

Joe: "I think I @#$%ed a squirrel to death."

 

Jimmy: "Hallenbeck? What's he gonna do, breathe on 'em?"

 

Criminal: "Jake attacks his job with a certain exhuberence."

Jimmy: "#$%, we're being beat up by the inventor of scrabble."

 

Hitman: "How'd you know it was my wife?"

Joe: "She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' mother@#$er."

Hitman: "You're real cool but you've got to take a bullet."

Joe: "After @#$%ing your wife I'll take two."

 

Joe's Wife: "I was lonely!"

Joe: "Buy a dog."

 

 

From IMDB.....

 

Jimmy Dix: I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that @#$%ed your wife.

 

Milo: Can we get a formal introduction?

Joe Hallenbeck: Who gives a @#$%? You're the bad guy, right?

Milo: I am the bad guy.

Joe Hallenbeck: And I'm supposed to be trembling in fear or something like that?

Milo: Something like that.

Joe Hallenbeck: I'll tremble later. For now, how about a drink?

 

Mike Mathews: Look Joe, it just happened.

Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, it just happened. Could happen to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, fell on the floor and accidently stuck your @#$% into my wife. "Oops, I'm sorry, Mrs. H, I guess this just isn't my week".

 

Jimmy Dix: What, you don't believe in love?

Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, I believe in love; I believe in cancer.

 

Mike Mathews: Joe how long have we been friends?

Joe Hallenbeck: I'd say roughly until you started banging my wife.

 

 

 

and of course.....

 

"Touch me again and I'll kill ya."

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Joe Hallenbeck: Hey Flash, rescue attempt?

Jimmy Dix: Blow me!

Milo: You must be James.

Jimmy Dix: James?

Joe Hallenbeck: He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.

Milo: I trust you're alone.

Jimmy Dix: No, I got the fuggin' Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?

Joe Hallenbeck: Just you, kid.

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That one is perhaps one of my favorites, along w/ this gem:

 

Officer: Good morning gentlemen. Is there a problem?

 

Milo: Yes, officer. As a matter of fact there is a problem. Apparently there are too many bullets in this gun.

[uses the gun to kill the officer]

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