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Kelso_Helmet

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Posts posted by Kelso_Helmet

    CHiPs are not Bills fans

    in The Stadium Wall Archives

    Posted

    Kinda tires of draft, tebow and head office bashing threads so I thought id tell you guys a funny story. I was driving on the 101 the other night and a highway patrolman pulled mover right next to Universal studios. As usual I grab my license and registration while he makes his way over. I roll down my window and he says "do you know why I pulled you over?" Naturally I didn't. He replies with " I saw your license plate frame and I pulled you over because your a Buffalo Bills fan" at first I thought it was funny but then he came back and said my license was suspended and took my car. Right as he was on his way he asked me if I had any questions and I said "you must be a dolphins fan". BTW I am bored at the DMV typing this on my phone.

     

    cops are still bitter in CA about that whole white Bronco chase back in the 90s.....

    Look what Donte is up to now

    in The Stadium Wall Archives

    Posted

    Carrying a handgun worked out real nice for Plaxico Burress!

     

     

    I'll have to read it again to look for the part where he said he was stuffing a handgun down the front of his sweatpants and going to a nightclub while he had an expired concealed carry permit from another state. That's on par with going to a shooting range.

    Look what Donte is up to now

    in The Stadium Wall Archives

    Posted

    yeah he's out poppin his gat off at those innocent paper targets, someone admonish him, please, there's plenty of better more appropriate places to use your legally registered firearm, like the suburbs, or a public park maybe. Calm down man, geez

     

    I just got a tweet from Donte...apparently he also refused that soldiers be quartered in his house and argued against powers not being reserved to the States, except those delegated to the United States by the Constitution!!!

     

    Damn this new generation of NFLers and their Bill of Rights malarkey!!

    The Patriots never cease to amaze me

    in The Stadium Wall Archives

    Posted

    Bellyache doesn't look like much a a "genius" tonight. Amazing what not having tape does to you.

     

    The key to beating the Patriots is to hit Brady in the mouth. He's got happy feet right now and he's just flinging it all over the place.

     

    I hope Fox scores as many points as time will allow. If they can hang 75 on the Pats I hope they do!

     

    75 points hung on Belicheat and Wilfork being helped off the field would make this game worth being sleepy at work tomorrow...

    I hate my new job...

    in Off the Wall Archives

    Posted

    My new job is so f***ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

     

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

     

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

     

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f***ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f***ing dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f***ing day.

     

    Anyway, I drive these f***tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.

     

    Hope you enjoyed that. :thumbsup:

     

    Just wait until you're regularly joined by the great dane's annoying nephew, his hillbilly cousin, and the Harlem Globetrotters.

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