The Dean Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3328 Sorry if it's already been posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JÂy RÛßeÒ Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3328 Sorry if it's already been posted 498125[/snapback] And number one is Tedy Bruschi (We're not worthy!), the Patriots linebacker who suffered a fatal stroke three days after last year's Pro-Bowl and rose from the dead to play in this Sunday's game against the Bills. The fact that he was able to recover and give an average and in no way spectacular performance which somehow singlehandedly won the whole game without his teammates is perhaps the most significant event in the course of human history, and judging from this poll our viewers overwhelmingly agree: Every single person in Gillette stadium cried in joy for the entire duration of the game until their tear ducts were so overworked that they bled and then they all just kept crying blood. Tedy was so inspirational that the entire stadium literally separated from the Earth and hovered several feet above the ground. I would gladly give my own life for Tedy Bruschi (We're not worthy!), but then again if he needed it he would simply take it by willing it to happen before I knew what was coming. He is an incredibly noble and beautiful creature that can not even be considered a human being because he is obviously the next evolutionary step forward, if not a god of some sort. If all were right in the world, humanity would be ruled by the noble and just triumvirate of Tedy Bruschi (We're not worthy!), Michael Vick, and Brett Favre. We would hibernate in the offseason in order to stay awake during the entirety of the rest of the year so we could properly bear witness to Bruschi (We're not worthy!)'s holy acts of greatness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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