Bubba

[rockpile]

1. The Exam

 

Two University of Tennessee VOL football players were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in next week's big game

 

The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _____."

 

Well, Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what the answer might be. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. He looked around to make the professor wasn't watching, then he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

 

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed, then he turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a farm..."

 

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to fill in the blank. Then, he stopped. He reached over to tap Tiny's shoulder again, and whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

 

"You really are stupid, Bubba. Duh? That's so easy... Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

 

2. Emily Sue's Passing

 

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

 

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

 

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

 

There was a long pause. Finally, Bubba replied, "Tell you what... how 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

 

 

3. Marriage

 

Bubba was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bubba brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa.

 

"Bubba, you can't get married yet," insisted Ma. "You're the baby of the family."

 

"But Ma," Bubba protested, "I just had my 38th birthday last week."

 

"We know that, Bubba," Pa chimed, "but your Ma and me think you should put off getting married until after you graduate from high school."

 

4. Obituary

 

Kathy had just become a widow and needed to put an obituary in the paper about her late husband, Bubba.

 

She called the newspaper and asked, "How much to put an obituary in the paper?"

 

"The cost is $0.50 per word," said the newspaper editor.

 

"Fine, please print "Bubba died."

 

The startled newspaper editor explained that there was a 7 word minimum charge.

 

Kathy thought for a moment, then said, "Okay, then, please print 'Bubba died. 1983 pickup truck for sale.'"