Thursday Humor - COMPUTERS

[aussiew]

This came from my brother in Aust. Don't know if the Bill Gates/GM part is true - but I thought this was funny....

 

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way

computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo

(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the

auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the

computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got

1,000 miles to the gallon."

 

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be

driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this

part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to

buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You

would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,

shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could

continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause

you car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have

to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,

five times! As fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only

five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all

be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"

warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out

and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle,

turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn

how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate

in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[/dev/null]

A Mechanical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer, and a Microsoft Certified System Engineer are driving down the road when their car breaks down:

 

ME: Its the engine. Lets pop the hood and see where the fault lies

CE: No no, its the fuel mixture. I told you not to buy low grade

MCSE: Look, just roll up all the windows, shut of the engine, restart the engine, and roll all the windows back down

[jarthur31]

That first one has been around the net for a few years now but it's still funny as hell!