THE NEW ERA REVIEW: IT'S MY FAULT!

[inthebuff]

With props and a ton of respect to Shaw66.

 

The game today is all my fault.   I humbly apologize to all the Buffalo Bills fans and members of #BillsMafia.  

 

1.  During the preseason, I convinced my fiance to cheer for the Bills at the preseason game against the Panthers.  We went to the game together and I even had a Bills "I live in SC, but the Bills are in my DNA t-shirt."  Her team was the Rams but they abandoned her home of St. Louis and she will no longer speak the name of the team.   She went away for the weekend and I failed to put in her suitcase anything Bills related -- t-shirt, jersey, cap, anything.  That was the first problem.

 

2.  I have gifted her a Hawaiian Hula Girl suitable for attaching to a dashboard.  She regifts it back to me.  This is our daily routine.  I failed to locate the hula girl this weekend...which usually wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but today WAS A GAME DAY!!  I am so lame.  

 

3.  This was the foreboding...the harbinger of bad things to come....my day on Sunday starts when my little dog (yes, she weighs 45 pounds, but is little compared to her 75 pound Pitador sister) wakes me up between 6 and 6:30.  I walk them, feed them, take a quick shower and head to 8 o'clock mass (and yes, we do have Catholic churches in the south).  She woke me up at 7:48AM.  So, no mass this morning and it's a GAME DAY!  I've trained her better.  I knew my day was going in the wrong direction.

 

4.  Usually, I don't pay a lot of attention on game day to the talking heads...you know who I'm talking about ... Mooch, Irv, Terry, The Coach, etc.  Today was different.  I watched as some millennial woman on the NFL network tell Rich (we're on a first name basis after all) that her upset special this week was the Eagles.  This was based on simulations that she had done on her computer and came up with a score of Philly 23 Buffalo 21.  I scoffed at her and then at my good buddy Rich for being the lone wolf in picking the Eagles.  "HA," exclaimed I to no-one there.  

 

5.  Then the game started and I came to 2 Bills Drive (apparently I transported myself via the interwebs to Orchard Park NY) and started checking out what was happening on THE thread on this here board.  Did I mention that I have never done this?  EVER!  My first time.  I was thinking...this isn't quite as bad as I kinda thought it would be.  People were civil.  The game was going well.  The Bills had the lead for a bit of time.   Then, as Marlon Brando said in Apocolypse Now, "The Horror," Josh Allen fumbled in Eagles territory.  Oh my goodness.  I felt so guilty.  I knew it was my fault.  I am never on this thread.  And now the bad stuff is happening.  And the excrement started hitting the ventilation device.  

 

6.  Instead of immediately signing off, shutting down my computer, and unhooking my  wireless router from the modem and unplugging it from the wall to remove all of my bad karmic influence, I did nothing.  I stayed on the board.  I stayed on the thread.  I got to the end of the first half.  And the thread was shut down.  Oh...OK...so we're only down by a few and we can come back.  No problem.

 

7.  I HOPPED ONTO THE 2ND HALF THREAD!!  Just what the heck was I thinking??? Immediately some player that I had never heard of runs the ball for 65 yards and a TD against our  top defense.  THE HORROR!!  Did I do the aforementioned tasks to change the karma???  NO!!  I didn't.  I stayed right here.

 

8.  4th quarter arrives and only then did I leave the computer.  I did some laundry, put together some wing sauce for a friend of mine, and some other house things.  BUT the damage was done.  It was hopeless.  I am so ashamed of myself.  And I call myself a Buffalonian.  

 

So...it's not Daboll's fault.  Nor is it Allen's fault.  It's not the fault of the defense or of McBeane.  The blame lies squarely at my feet.  

 

I'm so sorry.   Please forgive me.

[Hapless Bills Fan]

Thank you for your honestly.

 

Please see “Ritual Rest” thread for instructions on how to proceed and direct any further questions there.