Orton's Arm Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Steve: "Today's game is the first time a non-human player has cracked an NFL starting lineup." John: "That's right Steve. Jack is a 170 pound spectral pygmy chameleon. He'll be playing free safety." Steve: "Normally those things only weigh a few ounces, but this one's been genetically engineered." John: "I didn't know you were allowed to play non-human players." Steve: "Phil Luckett is a very experienced referee. If he doesn't have a problem with it, neither do I." John: "There are also a few other rules-related things going on. They seem to have given the chameleon a specially designed helmet. And they're using modified searchlights to keep him warm while he's on the field." Steve: "We'll soon be able to get a good look at him, because play is underway. The quarterback drops back, sets, looks, throws! And the chameleon! I can't believe it! The chameleon caught the ball with his tongue like he was catching a fly! That tongue has to be at least 20 feet long! He just snatched the ball right out of the air! And now he's hauled down after his interception return." John: "That interception return has to be the slowest running I've ever seen from a football player during a game. But was it really an interception?" Steve: "I think you do have to call it an interception. The rules say you have to secure control of the ball. They don't specify how. The people who wrote the rules never envisioned a situation in which a player would be able to swallow the ball in its entirety with his mouth. But as far as I can tell, it's perfectly legal." John: "And he made a football move after securing control. I think you're right about it being an interception." Steve: "Even though this guy is as slow as molasses, safeties like this could become the wave of the future. They'd be even more effective in the red zone; where the smaller field would make it easier for them to get good tongue coverage over the whole field." John: "If slow, undersized safeties with big mouths and reptilian brains are the wave of the future, teams should start cloning Donte Whitner." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. ChumChums Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I laughed. Long setup to the joke, but you got a "Hah!" out of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HamSandwhich Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 ROFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orton's Arm Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Thanks guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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