damj

I have a long tongue and water-proof keyboard.

Done!

Do you want popcorn to go with that whine?

Wait ... I thought I was the A-Hole?!?

Wow! That is correct! You are truly amazing sir!

Ok ... I'll give you one more chance to redeem yourself ... I'm thinking of a number. What is it?

Ha! I knew you would all give up!

You hate me because I'm going to win the "Last Post" thread?

He offered to smoke a cigar with Kim Jong Il and they were freed immediately.

Sporks come in all materials ... Link

Close ... spork

I'm thinking of a piece of silverware. What is it?

What is the average air speed velocity of a swallow?

Why would you bury the survivors you heartless bastard!?!

An airplane full of Fench and Spanish citizens crashes right on the border between France and Spain. Where do you bury the survivors?

Now it's a good morning!

Q. Do gansta kitties always land on their feet? A. No, not if you throw them hard enough.

I love the "THUD" into the wall at the end! Looks painful

That's one opinion ...

No ... and is why. Ok, I'm finished with dis guy ... who's next? And it that's not enough for ya ... here is another ...

The winner ... duh! I haven't received it yet, but I expect to soon.

Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? I woke up in a Soho doorway A policeman knew my name He said 'You can go sleep at home tonight If you can get up and walk away' I staggered back to the underground And the breeze blew back my hair I remember throwin' punches around And preachin' from my chair chorus: Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?) I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?) Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?) 'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?) I took the tube back out of town Back to the Rollin' Pin I felt a little like a dying clown With a streak of Rin Tin Tin I stretched back and I hiccupped And looked back on my busy day Eleven hours in the Tin Pan God, there's got to be another way Who are you? Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ... Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? Who are you? Who, who, who, who? (chorus) I know there's a place you walked Where love falls from the trees My heart is like a broken cup I only feel right on my knees I spit out like a sewer hole Yet still recieve your kiss How can I measure up to anyone now After such a love as this? (chorus)

Yes ... here I am ...

Nice try ... didn't fall for it