Dead Horse Beater's Club

OK, if you prefer- "Four morons, a troll and Inspector Clouseau". It's got some rythym to it! That'll bring 'em in! We can't simply Beat the Horse in diminishing numbers each week; we must find or stimulate more with our obsession to join the party! Beat Away Mon Courege!

We'll use it as the icon in our new recruiting campaign: "Some may write us off as nothing more than 4 morons and a troll Beating the Dead Horse- but just look at the smiles on our faces!" That should bring in another 2 or 3 just like us!

Come one, come all! No need for any fan affiliation; in fact none of us are really Bill's fans- we're just here to Beat Dead Horses! If you have what it takes we'd welcome you too! Beat the Horse- Win a Dollar!

You'll have to stop napping during meetings, that bottle thing you have to do has always been a bit peculiar. Current role call includes you, Rico and LabattBlue. As they say, we rise to the level of our incompetence. You're clearly perfectly equiped for mindless droning- and that's a plus in our Club!

Make sure to include all of us who have perfected the Dead Horse Beating style- yourself, Rico and LabattBlue deserve plenty of the credit! Now Beat Away Mon Courege!

You mean in a witty and accurate manner free from maddening repetitiveness?

Thanks- I'll need to hurry up and file a Servicemark for it. It should definitely be reserved for members of the Dead Horse Beater's Club like Rico, Labatt Blue and azjepp. I'm thinking you've got to put your time in beating the damn thing over and over and over and over again incessantly as if there were nothing more important in life than the obsession maintainance. In that one might earn, as out friends above have, the right to use such a symbol.

I always wondered where the saying "slap yourself silly" came from. Thanks for the clarification! Now you may return to your duties. Beat Away Mon Courege!

You simply don't understand us. Your fear is the essence that allows the Dead Horse Beaters to fully support your friend's observation that: To be one of us, you must first recognize that the Dead Horse is a kitty. Then you will be offered the opportunity for full enlightenment.

Unbridled rage is an asset to the Beating of any Dead Horse!

It's actually a merit system. Each of our esteemed members, from legends like Rico and LabattBlue to newcomers like azjepp, have earned that white stripe that runs down their back and out over their tails. In all fairness to those above-mentioned who have worked so hard to achieve where they are today in the Dead Horse Beating hierarchy, it's been detemined that any multiple choice question should be limited to no more than 3 total options. That way we stand some chance of their quizes being turned in by the end of the same day.

Allright Club Members- time for a Pop Quiz! Never engage in a battle of wits with: A) A member of the Dead Horse Beater's Club B) An unarmed man C) All of the above

What's the saying, you attract more boneheads with Horse Dung than honey? Nice to see all the Lemmings showing up for this meeting of the Dead Horse Beater's Club! No worries about any actual football logic being shared in this Clubhouse! Beat Away!

Why do you think we wear those pasties at the meetings?!?! Beat Away Mon Courge!

When we members of the Dead Horse Beater's Club obsess, we obsess in the biggest way possible! You've made us all so proud this past year your uncontrolled obsession over the Dead Horse that I think you may have put yourself in the running for the 2006 "Deadest Horse Beater". I'll see if I can get a nomination in at this late date- Keep Beating the Dead Horse- in both your sleeping and waking hours! LabattBlue for Deadest of all Horse Beaters!

My website is not Club Business. Stick to the Dead Horse. Existance

Thanks for taking the pivot again tomorrow night. I'll bring some mints!

Sorry I missed the arrival of the Short Bus! Please ask 'em to honk out front next time so we can walk you all the way into the Clubhouse.

Ah- the essence of our Club! Merely bring an obsession and Beat it to Death! Dead Horse Beaters Forever! Pound on!

Qucik-witted, Dim-witted or No-Witted, there's room for any obsession at the Dead Horse Beater's Club! Pound away Mon Courge!

While there's ample time for amusement in a Fraternal Organization like ours, the real mission is the comaraderie of others who share in our obsession. We must Beat the Dead Horse even when all others have turned their attention from him, we must Beat the Dead Horse while others are carelessly distracted from our obession by foolishness like Dancing With The Stars, Borat and the Buffalo Bill's season. Pound away Members of the Dead Horse Beater's Club! And never believe what they say about Lemmings!

As we say to close every meeting- "Whether you know anything about it or not, beat it to death" Great to see you so "firmly" on topic! At tomorrow's meeting we'll watch some of the tape of your bruising football career and then laugh at the Dead Horse and his pantywaist antics- imagine leaving his teamates behind simply because he'd have died? What a kitty!

Hallelujah! That's what we do here- watch more tapes of Drew Bledsoe! Thanks for joining in! It's what separates us from the idiots wasting time watching their own teams on Sundays- our focus on one player who doesn't even start in the NFL! We are the Dead Horse Beaters! Where else could there be such assemblage of foootball mastery, with those like you and me who are part of a string pointing out what a kitty the Dead Horse is!He's not like our boys- do you remember when Rico got that paper cut doing our protest mailing to the St. Paddy's Day Parade in Boston 2 years ago? Or the time azjepp broke a nail pulling on his penny loafers- he didn't cry or nothin'! The Dead Horse?- what a kitty leaving the field for a busted artery! We are the Dead Horse Beaters! We're the toughest hombres this side of a Rock Hudson pillow fight! Keep up the good work Labatt- all that is right with our club is exemplified in your obsession with the Dead Horse! Focus-focus-focus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The math just isn't there to support, you. A rudderless Dead Horse Beater's Club consisting of you, azjepp and Rico would of course immediately drop to 0 in football acumen. Then again, let's look at the bright side; your combined IQs might just crest into the double digits! Keep the Club together!

And abandon one of the finest collections of knuckleheads ever assembled!?! Not on your life! We'll beat the horse, we'll whip the horse and we'll pound the horse under any and all circumstances! Keep up the fine work Grasshopper!