SelmonSmith6378
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Posts posted by SelmonSmith6378
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Doesn;t someone on TBD have a foot fetish?
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You're an idiot.
And not "you're an idiot, because you're sixteen" this time. You're simply an idiot. Who needs to rent more and better movies. Start with The Thing (the original), Psycho, or The Birds.
Oh I see. You've been dumbed down by Hostel and Saw as well. And The Thing is one my list for movies I need to see...But BWP still scared the crap out of me, my uncle and my older sister. So go eat a bag of skittles, and go screw yourself you Nasty McJack@$$
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Howard the Duck and Magnolia
Howard the Duck was a guilty pleasure.
You got served
Leonard Part 6
Blair Witch Project
Yentil
Wait a minute, what the hell? BWP HAPPENS to be one of my fav movies, and definitley the scariest movie ever made. You've been watching too much Paranormal Lametivity and Saw and forgotten what REAL great movies are!
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Anthing involving Adam Sandler blows.
Only recently. Little Nicky, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, The Waterboy, Funny People, The Animal (Not a star, but he made a pretty funny cameo) were all very hilarious movies. He's really funny, he's just lost that golden touch. Sad thing really. :-(
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Always remember this - no matter the quality of a movie, there were scores of people (producers, editors, gaffers, interns, sound and lighting, costuming, hair, makeup, etc.) who worked into the wee hours of the morning for months to make it happen.
The job of the critic is to steer audiences in the right direction. So, if something didn't work, give concrete examples. What was lacking in Mr. Johnson's performance? Where could Ms. Sedgwick have improved? What was a particularly poor directing decision? All of these are rife for discussion...what ISN'T helpful is generalizing about bad acting or "predictability".
Also, try to find something positive to say. The people I mentioned above? Most of them don't deserve to be dragged through the mud. There's always a silver lining, and you're not proving to anybody that you're smarter than them by staring down your nose at a project and claiming that you're above it all.
Alright, you got me there. I'll elaborate more in my review. Check back later to see my edits.
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Just saw "The Road" this weekend. That movie sucked.
The kid was always whining, the father was always scared. Did I mention it sucked? Well, it did suck. I don't think I can convey how much it sucked. It sucked so bad, I want to go to Hollywood and punch the people that green lighted the making of the movie. Some people think "The Postman" and "Battlefield Earth" suck, well, I'll gladly watch those before even considering watching this abomination again.What is wrong with you? The Road was friggin AMAZING! I watched it a week ago, and was blown away. I was crying by the end! Everything from the acting, to the characters, to the dialogue. FANTASTIC movie! Are you Armond White?
Master of Disguise
Count of Monte Cristo remake
Joe Versus the Volcano
Wild Wild West
Most of those were pretty bad...But Master of Dusguise was a great movie and absolutley hilarious. Turtle Guy and the Shrek scene are one of my fav scenes ever.
Not much of a movie buff, but my daughter dragger me to "She's out of Control" when it forst came out. Terrible!
"Gene Siskel revealed that after viewing the film, he became so depressed that he considered quitting his job as a movie critic." (retrieved from Wikipedia, October 31st, 2011)
Just checked it out on wikipedia. GOD you;re right! It looks terrible! Might check it out just so I have something to rant about though.
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I would like to see Chuck Barris hosting.
Ummmmmm...Who?
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I can name SO many people I'd rather see on that show then Stern.
Doug "Darien" Walker
Patton Sowalt
James Rolfe
Zach Galifinakis
Jack Black (I'm sure to get flack for this, but watch his adult movies like Pick of Destiny, Tropic Thunder and Saving Silverman and Orange County. Hell, I even liked him in Nacho Libre)
Trey Parker
Matt Stone
Paul F. Thompkins
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As for "[REC]", that movie was remade in America as "Quarantine". So if you've seen "Quarantine", you've seen "[REC]".
Really? (REC) seems to have a poorer camera (Which is, in my opinion, better for scares) and I've heard from some sources that (REC) is FAR scarier.
Wonder Showzen was a fantastic, hilarious show while it lasted. Unfortunatley...They cancelled it after 2 seasons. Lost Tapes is a great show too, and the only TV show that's actually really scared me.
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Q: Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the department store?
A: Because he heard used children's pants were 50% off.
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Yes we do.
Sadly that trend will continue, "The Smurfs 2" comes out next summer.
What is unfortunate is how few if any family films are made that are not animated films. And I mean movies that the whole family can enjoy, not just kiddie movies that are filled with endless fart jokes.
Shockingly, "The Smurfs" doesn;t have a SINGLE fart joke in it!
Check out my "Gameplan" review if you REALLY want to know what kinds of awful family films I hate! -
Just my opinion, Selmon, but how about finding movies to review that more people give a flying fug about? I come across small, Indy films all the time that end up being very good, but the Indy scene is so big now that it's impossible to keep up with it. Why not find some little gems to review that people may be looking to rent from Netflix or wherever when they can't think of anything else they want to see? I often find that indy/foreign films are much better than much of the mainstream stuff these days anyway, so you may even find that you're having more fun with it.
I just don't know many people on TBD who care about smurfs and the gameplan....just my opinion.
Yeah, I'll actually be reviewing a pretty great movie for my next review. It's not an Indy but it IS a hidden gem most certainly!
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How were the football sequences?
There were only about 3, maybe 4 of them. I didn;t really pay attention to them. But the rest of this movie is H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!
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She's certainly hot. Sh'ed be hotter if she wasn't on the worst show on CBS, if not all cable
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How's this for nostalgia? (srry about the video quality, best vid I could find)
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I'll check it out...If you check out MY SelmonSmith6378 Spotlights Reviews.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b2kwcMqt7U
Remember, in my "The Smurfs" review, when I gave the film a C? Well, lots of people thought I was being too easy on the movie, stating it was one of the worst films they've ever seen. Well, what they fail to realize is that there are plenty of family films out there that would scar them for life. Example? Andy Fickman's "The Gameplan. My GOD, this movie is HORRENDOUS! This is a film that has, among other things, terrible acting, a predictable story, uninteresting characters AND SOME OF THE WORST JOKES I HAVE EVER HEARD! This movie, is so horrible, I actually CRIED the last time I saw it! Yeah, that bad!
"The Gameplan" tells the story of Joe Kingman (Dwayne Johnson. GET IT! Cause he's an action star and he's in a kids movie! LAUGH!), an self-centered football QB for the Boston Rebels (Just go with it. And P.S that movie sucked too.) One day he is visited by an 8-year-old girl named Peyton Kelly (Madison Pettis) arrives at Kingman's doorstep saying that she is his biological daughter. Shenanigans ensue!
Yeah, remember in my "The Smurfs" review when I said it was predictable? Where I mentioned how it was "Gameplan" predictable? I'll be holding ALL of my family movie preditable standards to this movie. It is the MOST predictable movie I've EVER seen! I predicted EVERY LAST PART of this movie, sometimes an hour before it even happened! Probably due to it's unoriginal, formulaic plot that usually serves as the story for a crappy 90's family movie, but now serves the story for a crappy 2000's movie.
You know, sometimes I can ignore an unoriginal plot if the acting is good. Some examples include "The Wolfman", "The Blair Witch Project" and "Titanic". The bad news? This movie has the WORST acting I've ever seen! Remember Jake Lloyd? Yeah, that annoying freaking kid who "played" Anakin in Episode 1? I used to think he was the worst child actor ever. Until I saw the masterpiece of abomination that is Madison Pettis! Every line is either underacted or WAAAAAY overacted. She might as well have a big neon sign on her saying "YAY! I'M ACTING!" Everytime she shares the screen with an adult actor/actress they always have this look on their faces like "Get this brat off the set before she ruins my career". Not that the adults do any better. Roselyn Sanchez does a TERRIBLE job as Peyton's dance instructor. BOY does she overact. I think Terl from Battlefield Earth has found his new soulmate. Hell, even Kiera Sedgewick from "The Closer" does an AWFUL job as Joe's agent. She just seems so eager to get off the screen, sputtering her lines as fast as possible to get away from this awful movie. And I don't blame her. If there's one shining light it's Dwayne Johnson. At first, he's pretty sloppy, even when the movie tries so hard to make me hate his character I just can't. But drawing towards the end, he really got the "sensitive dad" thing down.
And what's the only thing worse then awful acting? Unlikeable characters of course! Payton is the most bratty, self centered, stupid, irresponsible character I have ever seen in a children's movie. That would be alright if SHE WAS SUPPOUSED TO BE UNLIKEABLE! But no! I found myself more attached to the self centered football player (Did we mention he's self centered? How about you watch the movie and the director can beat you over the head with a giant hammer on how self centered he is!) then the little girl! Payton's aunt was just as bad as well. I mean, Joe has been raising Payton for MONTHS, and the aunt just waltzes right in and starts bickering and bickering about how he isn;t responsible enough to take care of her WHEN HE'S RAISING FREAKING ESTHER! (Yes, that was an "Orphan" reference)
What was funny in this movie? In the words of Joe Kingman "Nothing" Even in AWFUL family movies like "The Cat in the Hat" I usually find one or two jokes I find funny. But nope. The whole movie is an enormous, unfunny gag about Dwayne Johnson doing ballet and being a family man, football players being big softies, and farting. Yeah, the 3 most UNFUNNY and ANNOYING gags in cinema, and "The Gameplan" has ALL OF THEM!
I hate this movie. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I'll say it some more if you want me too. It's one of the worst movies of 2007, or ANY year, and one of the Top 3 worst family films I've ever seen! And what's worse? MY FAMILY ACTUALLY LIKED THIS MOVIE! The only thing worse then an impossibly bad movie, is having people you love really like it! Whatever. This is a disgustingly awful movie that is hazardous to your health it's so bad. Nothing works. Nothing.
Grade:
F-
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And I was just about to run out and... Wait... No. No I wasn't.
What's that suppoused to mean?>
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Remember when he landed on the Eagles and everyone thought it was the "dream team" (laughs hysterically)
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M-A- Double S-A-S-H-U-S-E Double T-S!
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Why anyone still watches ESPN is beyond me.
People watch ESPN because they think it's "cool" and "hip" to watch anything sports related. And the poor guys doing anything NOT sports related (comic books, video games e.t.c) are deemd "uncool" by this caveman-like, barbaric society.
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[turn the sound off-horrible]
youtube.com/watch?v=tS2-Nw-ph98&feature=topics
Why that guy didn't put "The Night" by Disturbed in the background, I'll never know! I guess I'll just have to listen to it with this video's sound off now. Sweet highlights though!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZT7MPXNqYE
It's all about the U.
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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.
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You're too young to have fetishes. You're 16. You experiment.
I'm 40. I have fetishes.
Like? I'll tell you mine If you tell me yours.
I have a naked lady fetish.
Don't we all?
Silent House
in Off the Wall Archives
Posted
I know it's kinda late to post this but...Did you like The Blair Witch Project?