Underdog
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Posts posted by Underdog
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As any good salesman will tell you the best way to sell a product, or in this case a head coaching opportunity,
is to emphasize the opportunities best feature.
I contend that Buffalo's best feature is their amazing wings.
If the head coaching offer were sweetened with all you can eat wings 24/7 plus free heart and lyposuction surgeries for the resulting obeseity, we'd have a good HC in no time.
Just think, if we would have tried this idea last year....we probably could have gotten Rex Ryan.
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Let's face it, the odds of being a successful HC with the Bills are probably 200 to 1 against you. First, the same management that has been failing year in and year out is still there and solidly intrenched. Second,the same scouting personnel that has failed over the years is still there. Third, your in a division that is made up of teams from much larger markets that are committed to winning. Their ownership has brought in competent football minded people to direct their operations. Forth, you don't have a QB to work with. Fifth, you have to build an OL. Sixth, you have one of the worst defensive front seven in the league. Seventh, you have to take the approach that after three or four years being frustrated by One through Six, you had better have saved your salary, because your reputation as a head coach will be that you can't put a winning team on the field. Therefore you career as a head coach is shot. Maybe someone you met along the way might give you an assistants job.
I agree completely.
Furthernore, as long as stupid meddling Ralph still owns the team they will never be run in a professional manner.
At best, in time, the Bills may become a playoff tease.
The hiring of Nix is a great example. I'm not saying he's not a step up from Brandon, any football guy is a step up from a marketing guy. But it's hard for me to billieve that the best man for the gm's job is a 70 year old that had to be talked out of retirement last year. Just seems like another hiring based more in comfort than competence.
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the over the top sterilization of everything in our world today, i am convinced, is the reason so many people these days get sicker and are stricken with more allergies than they were as early as 30 years ago.....the body needs germs and impurities in order to build up immunities. The Purel's and other hand sanitizers are the bane of our civilization(yeah i know...a bit of an exaggeration)....when I was growing up, no one was allergic to milk or peanuts....now it seems everyone is......shake hands....take off the face masks....put fat back in foods.......live.....live.....live.......
I agree that many people are concerned about germs to the point of being completely irrational.
But I disagree that over sterilizing has much to do with the increase in the disease, allergies, and general sickness.
I'm not a health nut but I know the following to be true.
The farming soils of virtually the entire world have been gradually depleted of their vitamins and minerals over the past fifty years. In the past farmers would rotate their crops (each crop takes dif nutrients from the soil)
or leave fields empty for a while to ensure the soil has a chance to replenish itself.
Todays fruits, vegetables, grains and of course the feed for the farmers chickens, cows etc have only approx 25% of the nutients that they had fifty years ago!
The reasons for this change in farming you ask? Less small mom and pop farms and many more big corporate style farms who care about the bottom line far more than doing the right thing.
Also, to be fair there are twice as many people on this earth now than there was fifty years ago so we do need to produce a lot more food. And of course our society has become greedier/more dishonest over the past half century.
Making matters worse is the fact that most farmers use chemical fertilizers and livestock hormone injections etc.
to ensure big crops and big livestock therefore big profits in spite or poor quality. The pollution problems that have developed over the past fifty years further aggravate the farming situation.
When the body is constantly deprived of the proper nutrients the immune system is greatly weakened naturally resulting
in far more disease, allergies and general sickness.
On the bright side, phoning in sick is probably more believable nowadays than in the past.
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My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah
Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo
classic
How could I forget that incredible satire of heavy metal.
I love that Taps great claim to fame was being the loudest band ever.
Nice job remembering lyrics.
Kudos
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A few more great comedies with a unique charm:
Anchorman
(Will Ferrel does such a great deadpan)
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask
(early 70s Woody Allen inspired lunacy)
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These replies are really bringing back some good memories of the many comedies I've loved over the years.
My favourites are comedies that are not only extremely funny but also have a unique charm.
My incomplete list is currently:
Monty Python-Holy Grail
Monty Python-The Meaning of Life
Monty Python-Life of Brian
(python troupe are so funny they're life reaffirming)
Dumb and Dumber
(remarkably idiotic in such a good way)
Blazing Saddles
(too bad Mel Brooks still isn't making movies)
Clerks 1
(Kevin Smith film shot on a budget of approx 10 grand makes me wonder if i could make one)
Borat
(unique mockumentary comedy)
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I'd like to know what you think is the funniest movie of all time.
For me, it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
If you've seen this comedic work of art and don't at least have it in your top three funniest movies of all time....
then throw a drinking fountain threw the barred windows of your looney bin and run like hell.
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I agree, but for me, it's part of an overall trend.
Roughly 15 years ago, I began noticing that there are fewer comedic movies being produced and more thriller/action/suspense type of movies instead.
I figure this trend developed because making comedic movies is a more difficult artform that usually pays much less money. (Even top comedic movies are never blockbusters.)
For my money, Blazing Saddles is the best parody of all time and one of the greatest comedic movies of all time.
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Ever notice that things that are good tend to look good.
Once the Bills start winning on a regular basis...the existing uniforms will start looking a whole lot better!
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I'm not going to say that Ralph doesn't care about winning. Of course he'd rather own a winning team,
as long as he doesn't have to risk very much money on top quality coaches/gm.
Ralph is a businessman and like the overwhelming majority of businessmen he cares about the bottom line
far more than how the bottom line is achieved.
Furthermore I think that Ralph operates according to the following saying:
It is immoral to allow suckers to keep their money. --"Canada Bill" Jones
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Walter Payton
Gandhi
Frank Zappa
Three of the world's coolest people would make for a fascinating evening of conversation.
(If Zappa seems out of place, read The Real Frank Zappa Book.)
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The depths of stupidity fanboys here will go to in order to create some conspiracy plan to justify the crappy product is hilarious...
My post was not meant to be taken seriously.
It was only meant in the spirit of DRY humour.
I've been a Bills fan since 1984.
Without humour, dry or otherwise, I'd have never been able to be a Bills fan for 25 years now.
Sorry that some people don't find dry humour to be funny.
Anyway, happy trails.
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The best way for Ralph to move the team is to employ a coaching staff that fosters:
1.anger 2.disgust 3.apathy
amongst the local fanbase.
No wonder Dickless Jauron is his head coach.
Much less uproar will result in relocating a team that causes its fans much more pain than pleasure.
My analogy is a wife that:
cheats (1.anger), drinks excessively (2.disgust), and stops regular sex with the husband (3.apathy).
Before too long the husband naturally wants a divorce despite the consequences.
I suggest that by the time Ralph moves the team
...you'll be glad to see them GO despite the consequences.
GO BILLS -
The only brilliant remedy for Trent's incompetence is electro-shock therapy to the frontal lobe.
Further more, they could perform this treatment at the stadium before the game and show it on the big screen.
Even if the electro-shock therapy doesn't help it certainly couldn't make him any worse.
If nothing else, the fans would be guaranteed of something fun to watch for a change.
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Whenever there's a choice between crying the blues and laughing the worries away
I always try to remember that life is often incredibly unjust and deceptively short but laughter truly is the best medicine.
In that spirit, I would like to hear what everyone thinks of what
D##kless Jauron's coaching style compares favorably to... For me:
1. Root canals without anastetic.
2. Horrible divorce settlements.
3. Nailing my d##k to a burning building.
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I think the 56-17 to the expansion Seahawks in 1976 may have been the most embarrassing loss in Bills history. Did you forget about the 56-10 loss to NE a couple of years ago?
And howabout that 31-0 beatdown by the Pats i believe at the end of the 04 season.
Always sticks in my mind since the Bills started that same year with that rare victory over the Pats by exactly 31-0.
Plus any blowout where the Bills score 0 points somehow seems worse to me.
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No one is torturing anybody. Last time I checked, no one is making you be a Bills fan, a fan of a team that Ralph bought and brought to Buffalo, and kept there longer then he ever had to. If you think you are being tortured by him, no one is forcing you to stay, you can leave whenever you want.
When I use the word torture it is an exageration to help make a point.
If you can't handle the disgust of the average working man towards a rich dishonest old fool that constantly lies to us about making a serious effort to win (then gets the best coaching staff pennies can buy etc etc.)
then maybe you're the one who can leave whenever you want.
I've been a Bills fan for 24 years now and I can read between the lines.
I know what Ralph is all about.
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So let me get this straight.
Langston Walker was supposed to be the best man for the most difficult position on the O-line until recently.
Now he's not even good enough to provide OL depth on a team with very little OL depth?!
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think Walker was anything more than an average RT who struggles too much at LT.
It's not that I don't like this Bell kid who might turn into a solid starter. (maybe)
And it's not that I don't understand that football's a business first and Walker's bloated contract was an issue.
Business is business but come on now.
If Ralph really wants to build his fortune no matter how many people he causes to suffer....
then why not sell the team and buy a major Nike or Reebok etc. factory in Asia where he can make his fortune much bigger by having 12 year old kids making $.10 an hour working for him. (Standard practise in Asia.)
In other words, there are plenty of legal ways that a rich as#%oles can build their fortunes that don't involve torturing football fans.
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The game wasn't accurate unless the Patriots stole your signals
Come on now, The Hooded One doesn't always steal signals...
sometimes he bribes the refs to dust off the "tuck" rule.
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Patriots by 10.5 over the Bills?
That must be the spread for the first half.
Seriously, I don't see how any being that walks upright can figure that Buffalo having a new OC will throw opponents off very much, especially The Hooded One. It might be different if AVP had more experience or if the Bills had better players or better overall coaching staff...but not as things are. (I'd love to be wrong though.)
Go Bills
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First series
1st play: False start penalty (Hangartner)
2nd play: Delay of game penalty
3rd play: Sensing the fans desires and being sick of Jauron's conservatism Trent audibles for a Bomb to Evans but
it's underthrown (unacustomed to throwing long) and picked off. Trent feels so bad about it he kamikazee
tackles the returner and is out for the season.
Dick Jauron, seeing his job lost in the crumpled mess that is Trent Edwards is heard to say f%#k it no more
mr nice guy and puts on a rare macho display. Dick sprints across the field reminescent of his days as a db and he charges the Hooded One. None of the players can separate them and Dick kicks The Hooded Ones's arrogant face in. When Dick is finally pulled off he is heard to repeatedly scream "I'm out of order, I'M out of order NO you're out of order, that cheating arrogant sonofabitch is out of order, that dumbass cheapskate meddling senile owner of mine is out of order THIS IS NOT OVER YOU HEAR ME BILL I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE BILL THIS IS NOT OVER
Wait just a min...did i say that the Bills have a preplanned audible for a bomb to Evans?
Talk about unrealistic!
Tuck Rule
in The Stadium Wall Archives
Posted
I'm really curious as to how many times the tuck rule has been enforced in the history of the NFL.
I believe it's only been used against the Raiders in 2002 and the Bills in 2011. Can anyone confirm
this information?
I vaguely recall NFL Network episode focusing on the 2002 tuck rule travesty. I think it was said
that the tuck rule has been in the rule book FOR AGES but was never enforced until that 02 Raiders
-Pats playoff game. This of course left some Raiders & fans to wonder if the NFL was getting
revenge for Al Davis's successful lawsuit against the NFL. If it was, I almost admire their patience
in waiting two decades for just the right moment...now that's cold.
It's bad enough that the rule is ridiculous but when it's so seldom enforced it gets too easy for
the conspiracy minded to let their imaginations run wild. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that the
Raiders and Bills have been the only ones (that I know of) persecuted by this rule while neither
franchise is a big favourite with the majority of NFL owners. Wait a minute...hmmmn.
We are through the looking glass.
Anyway, off I go to roam the streets wearing my trusty tin foil hat as I search through trash cans for
bits of string pausing only to scream revolutionary slogans and laugh hysterically. GO BILLS!!!