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Please allow me to explain a couple of things here and then I will let this go and will stop blogging about our families situation. Perhaps I shouldn't have started because this is all a very sensitive subject with me.

 

First.....there seems to be a misconception that I am living my life through my kids or perhaps forcing football onto him.

 

I told a lot about myself a years ago but dont talk much of it. I was also a football player. I just like my son had several setbacks along the way including having to finish my high school years out in adult school because I worked to help take care of my grandparents for a while. Despite all of that I did manage to play Div III ball for a time before I (like my son) suffered a knee injury. Having no real family that I would claim and no other options I joined the Air Force.

 

The Air Force was great for me dont get me wrong but if I had to do it all over again I would have went in as a officer....I really did get tired of watching 2nd lieutenants making far more then me when I could easily do the same job as them degree or no degree. So if anyone can understand here I am not living my life through my son.....I just want him to have a BETTER life then I had. Is this such a bad thing?

 

My son Brett was never forced to do anything EVER. Just because I played sports had no bearing on what he was going to do coming up. If he would have come to me and said "I want to be on the chess club" or "I want to take photography" I would have been just as happy....all I asked is that he just wasn't a deadbeat who sat around all day doing drugs, drinking bear, and playing WII all day. Did he play football because I did? Probably....but I never pushed him that way. I didnt rub oil on his hamstrings as a baby and feed him steroids to make sure he would be a monster.....I also never told him he was going to college....I just wanted him to do SOMETHING....HE wanted to go...he is the one that would schedule trips with the school to visit campus...he is the one that accepted invitations from football programs to come and see their facilities (one that comes to mind immediately is San Diego State) I just asked what they looked like when he got back.....I have absolutley no idea how someone could lose focus so badly in their junior year when they seemed so upbeat about going to a place of higher learning. It was not MY idea I would have been perfectly happy had he told me wanted to go to a trade school instead.

 

I did not LIVE through my son....I simply wanted him to have it better then I did. I did not push football on him I just tried to help him where I could.

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You are right - I don't. But, do you want everyone to pull punches, slap you on the back, and wish you luck or are you looking for people to give you an honest assessment?

 

Needless to say, your posts about your disappointment in his prospective football future (even if it ends at college), when the kid is pulling D's in core courses is as backasswards as it comes. As it stands now, Brett isn't even learning what he's supposed to in high school, let alone what is going to be presented to him in college. You aren't going to be able to solve differential equations when you didn't bother to learn basic math.

 

I would have expected the original post to come from Brett, because he is young and doesn't know any better. A kid's short term ambition often clouds his view of his long term future. However, it didn't come from Brett, it came from you. I'm not quite sure how you managed to type:

 

 

 

in the same post and think nothing of it. :rolleyes:

 

If Andrew was pulling D's in core courses in high school I would be throwing up at night. You presented his falling grades to us as a mere obstacle to him getting signed by a D1 school. John, that is messed up.

 

I'm not telling you how to raise your kid. That's your job. You need to figure that out for yourself. But if you're going to solicit comments about your situation, then my take is that I hope he gets his stojan together, learns what he needs to in high school, and manages to find a career that he loves and can support himself. I hope his knee gets better and can lead a happy, healthy lifestyle. Whether he plays college football or not is the least of his worries...

 

I think you wacked it on the noggin. No ones wants to see a young man laid up for his senior year of football if he is the #1 prospect in the country or a 2nd stringer happy to wear the jersey. I wish your boy the best of luck with what ever the recovery entails and as you have stated before he is in good shape and the most important thing, he's young. But now is the time to put football aside and focus on a future. he may think his future is 60 minutes on a Friday but YOU know that's not the case.

 

I am not sure how the requirements have changed since I played but you had to carry a 2.5 or you couldn't suit up. If you cant hold a 2.5 that's pretty sad. Either the coaches don't give a sh-t or the kids think it will be handed to them either way. It happens all the time and it just sets the kids up for failure down the line.

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Please allow me to explain a couple of things here and then I will let this go and will stop blogging about our families situation. Perhaps I shouldn't have started because this is all a very sensitive subject with me.

 

First.....there seems to be a misconception that I am living my life through my kids or perhaps forcing football onto him.

 

I told a lot about myself a years ago but dont talk much of it. I was also a football player. I just like my son had several setbacks along the way including having to finish my high school years out in adult school because I worked to help take care of my grandparents for a while. Despite all of that I did manage to play Div III ball for a time before I (like my son) suffered a knee injury. Having no real family that I would claim and no other options I joined the Air Force.

 

The Air Force was great for me dont get me wrong but if I had to do it all over again I would have went in as a officer....I really did get tired of watching 2nd lieutenants making far more then me when I could easily do the same job as them degree or no degree. So if anyone can understand here I am not living my life through my son.....I just want him to have a BETTER life then I had. Is this such a bad thing?

 

My son Brett was never forced to do anything EVER. Just because I played sports had no bearing on what he was going to do coming up. If he would have come to me and said "I want to be on the chess club" or "I want to take photography" I would have been just as happy....all I asked is that he just wasn't a deadbeat who sat around all day doing drugs, drinking bear, and playing WII all day. Did he play football because I did? Probably....but I never pushed him that way. I didnt rub oil on his hamstrings as a baby and feed him steroids to make sure he would be a monster.....I also never told him he was going to college....I just wanted him to do SOMETHING....HE wanted to go...he is the one that would schedule trips with the school to visit campus...he is the one that accepted invitations from football programs to come and see their facilities (one that comes to mind immediately is San Diego State) I just asked what they looked like when he got back.....I have absolutley no idea how someone could lose focus so badly in their junior year when they seemed so upbeat about going to a place of higher learning. It was not MY idea I would have been perfectly happy had he told me wanted to go to a trade school instead.

 

I did not LIVE through my son....I simply wanted him to have it better then I did. I did not push football on him I just tried to help him where I could.

 

bull sh-- you're not living vicariously. Otherwise, you wouldn't think it was YOUR bad luck that HE got injured. I've enjoyed reading about your son's football career, and if it has to end because of this, I truly am sorry. But if I have to read one more time about how this affects YOU, I'm going to personally fly out to Hemet and slap you silly. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

 

And yes, I know the voices from the peanut gallery will chime in with "you don't have kids, you don't understand." Well, I did have parents...

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bull sh-- you're not living vicariously. Otherwise, you wouldn't think it was YOUR bad luck that HE got injured. I've enjoyed reading about your son's football career, and if it has to end because of this, I truly am sorry. But if I have to read one more time about how this affects YOU, I'm going to personally fly out to Hemet and slap you silly. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

 

And yes, I know the voices from the peanut gallery will chime in with "you don't have kids, you don't understand." Well, I did have parents...

 

Sometimes my words on the internet are not as I mean them to be.....of course it is my sons bad luck and not mine......perhaps I feel this way because I wish I could take the injury out of him and put it in my I care about him that much......I am in pain because I see him in pain.

 

As for flying out to Hemet.....unless it is to share a beer please stay in DC Tom

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Please allow me to explain a couple of things here and then I will let this go and will stop blogging about our families situation. Perhaps I shouldn't have started because this is all a very sensitive subject with me.

 

First.....there seems to be a misconception that I am living my life through my kids or perhaps forcing football onto him.

 

I told a lot about myself a years ago but dont talk much of it. I was also a football player. I just like my son had several setbacks along the way including having to finish my high school years out in adult school because I worked to help take care of my grandparents for a while. Despite all of that I did manage to play Div III ball for a time before I (like my son) suffered a knee injury. Having no real family that I would claim and no other options I joined the Air Force.

 

The Air Force was great for me dont get me wrong but if I had to do it all over again I would have went in as a officer....I really did get tired of watching 2nd lieutenants making far more then me when I could easily do the same job as them degree or no degree. So if anyone can understand here I am not living my life through my son.....I just want him to have a BETTER life then I had. Is this such a bad thing?

 

My son Brett was never forced to do anything EVER. Just because I played sports had no bearing on what he was going to do coming up. If he would have come to me and said "I want to be on the chess club" or "I want to take photography" I would have been just as happy....all I asked is that he just wasn't a deadbeat who sat around all day doing drugs, drinking bear, and playing WII all day. Did he play football because I did? Probably....but I never pushed him that way. I didnt rub oil on his hamstrings as a baby and feed him steroids to make sure he would be a monster.....I also never told him he was going to college....I just wanted him to do SOMETHING....HE wanted to go...he is the one that would schedule trips with the school to visit campus...he is the one that accepted invitations from football programs to come and see their facilities (one that comes to mind immediately is San Diego State) I just asked what they looked like when he got back.....I have absolutley no idea how someone could lose focus so badly in their junior year when they seemed so upbeat about going to a place of higher learning. It was not MY idea I would have been perfectly happy had he told me wanted to go to a trade school instead.

 

I did not LIVE through my son....I simply wanted him to have it better then I did. I did not push football on him I just tried to help him where I could.

 

If you really wanted him to "have it better than you," you'd be a hell of a lot more concerned with his grades than his non-existent football future. (and yes, it is non-existent. If he had any shot at a football future, D-1 schools would be looking at him., The fact that they aren't says everything we need to know about his talent) Take the Air Force for example, like you did. Any ROTC program at a college is going to laugh in his face when he applies for admission with D's in high school core courses.

 

I played sports in high school and kept my grades up because my dad flat out told me that if my grades ever suffered, he was removing me from the team. Plain and simple. No grades, no play.

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we argued the same thing at the University of Rochester and if there was ever a school with an inferiority complex it was UR.

 

Almost every school has it in some form or another. It's hilarious out here in Boston since there are about 85 schools all jammed within one city block.

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Sometimes my words on the internet are not as I mean them to be.....of course it is my sons bad luck and not mine......perhaps I feel this way because I wish I could take the injury out of him and put it in my I care about him that much......I am in pain because I see him in pain.

 

As for flying out to Hemet.....unless it is to share a beer please stay in DC Tom

 

Dude, no one is going to buy this. You were talking about recruiting tapes years ago.

 

Again, most people here will continue to harp on your obsession with his football career and compare that to your laissez-faire attitude about his school work. Where was your post bemoaning his plummeting grades and your struggles to get his academic career on track? Have you asked yourself what the heck your kid is going to do when he hangs up his cleats? Has he asked it of himself?

 

Telling us that you want him to have a "better life" doesn't make a lick of sense given the current situation. How is that going to happen playing D1 college football? Those dots don't connect for 99.99% of players. His real chance at a "better life" is an education. His poor grades now are just setting him up for failure in school later... If you don't realize that then a 17 year old probably won't either.

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Both John and the posters harshly criticizing him are wrong.

 

I feel that the posters in this thread are correct, but going about this the wrong way. It is obviously a very delicate situation to John, and arguing and criticizing his parenting skills are only going to rendure him defensless of his acts instead of realizing another way to go about things, even if what you're saying is true. How can one say John is wrong to push his own ideals onto his son in a manner that is pushing your own ideals on John? Kind of counterproductive, don't you think?

 

John,

 

I know it is very, very easy to view everyone here as the opposition to defending the way you brought up your kids, but please try your best not to do that, for yourself and for your son. Step back from the overly ciritical content of their posts and see the real message they are trying to portray, because honestly, it's the truth.

 

If you really think about the entire situation, you can begin to view this as the best thing. A few weeks ago we all agreed that it wasn't likely he was going to play in the NFL, and that football, at this moment in time, was stunting his growth academically and he wasn't keeping up with his grades. We agreed that in order for him to have a successful career, he was going to have to do it with his mind, since becoming successful in football probably wasn't going to happen.

 

The reason I say this knee injury could be the best thing for him is because, why not start turning around the grades and start your future right now? Why even continue to play football if it's not going to get you anywhere but trouble academically? If he was never injured, and went on to a D-1, D-II or D-III school, he'd continue the path of focusing on athletics and not so much his grades. Sure, he could try to juggle both at the same time, but why mess with your education when you're not going to the NFL anyway? Now that he might not have football, it will force him to realize that school is the only way to set up your future. If he played, who's to say that this same thing wouldn't happen in college, and he'd end his college/football career with a good time playing but horrible GPA, and then get sent off into the real world with no skills or experience?

 

Try to look past the criticism and instead embrace it. It is hard, I know. It's easy to look at everything as if you've failed, but you haven't.

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Sorry about the bad break.

 

I know a lot of the guys here are busting on you because of the possible hazy priority level, but the fact is you have tons of time, work, and emotion into your son's young "career", and seeing something like this go down hurts both him and you. As correct as anyone may be in their assesment, that does no good to cure the sting that you feel.....and it is a legitimate pain.

 

I am involved in the ultimate hard-luck story industry.....horse racing. I can relate 100% to the pain and frustration you have now, as I once felt that way until I was able to harden myself to the fact that those are the risks that come along with the game. You've enjoyed the highs of watching your son dominate at times on the field, doing something you both seemingly have a passion for. The mind starts to wander in that situation.....he's young....what if he keeps improving at this level.....what if he is able to get into a program and dominate there too...what if a scout at a college game notices him.....etc...etc. Your seratonin receptors are firing on overdrive as you celebrate his on field accomplishments...and have huge reason to HOPE about the future. When you have a huge setback like this.....it is truly a psychological drug taken away from you. Not only do you have to deal with the reality of MRIs and HMOs, but the "high" was just taken away from you and you are going to have some emotional DTs for a while. This is natural.......there is plenty of time to sort things out long term in the regular game of life for your son, but for now it hurts like hell......and I understand.

 

You know the game well enough to understand the odds. If in fact the knee is shot....in a few months the sting will start to ease and your son will have to sort some things out. All you can do now is use this as a timeout to re-evaluate the reality of the situation and objectively refelect on all aspects of your son's future. Even if he never hits the field again, that doesn't take away all the awesome experiences you have had with him over the years. Once the shock...anger..and grief take their natural course...I am sure you can bring things into perspective. Until then...your angst is real. Just don't let it linger into bitterness or you will miss the next opportunity to enrich your son's life.

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Dude, no one is going to buy this. You were talking about recruiting tapes years ago.

 

Again, most people here will continue to harp on your obsession with his football career and compare that to your laissez-faire attitude about his school work. Where was your post bemoaning his plummeting grades and your struggles to get his academic career on track? Have you asked yourself what the heck your kid is going to do when he hangs up his cleats? Has he asked it of himself?

 

Telling us that you want him to have a "better life" doesn't make a lick of sense given the current situation. How is that going to happen playing D1 college football? Those dots don't connect for 99.99% of players. His real chance at a "better life" is an education. His poor grades now are just setting him up for failure in school later... If you don't realize that then a 17 year old probably won't either.

 

SDS.....we are talking about one stinking year of bad grades. To listen to you talk it would make it sound like he was a complete academic @uckup all the way through high school....this was not the case.

 

I dont have an explanation for what happened his junior year....I wish I did but I dont.

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Both John and the posters harshly criticizing him are wrong.

 

I feel that the posters in this thread are correct, but going about this the wrong way. It is obviously a very delicate situation to John, and arguing and criticizing his parenting skills are only going to rendure him defensless of his acts instead of realizing another way to go about things, even if what you're saying is true. How can one say John is wrong to push his own ideals onto his son in a manner that is pushing your own ideals on John? Kind of counterproductive, don't you think?

 

John,

 

I know it is very, very easy to view everyone here as the opposition to defending the way you brought up your kids, but please try your best not to do that, for yourself and for your son. Step back from the overly ciritical content of their posts and see the real message they are trying to portray, because honestly, it's the truth.

 

If you really think about the entire situation, you can begin to view this as the best thing. A few weeks ago we all agreed that it wasn't likely he was going to play in the NFL, and that football, at this moment in time, was stunting his growth academically and he wasn't keeping up with his grades. We agreed that in order for him to have a successful career, he was going to have to do it with his mind, since becoming successful in football probably wasn't going to happen.

 

The reason I say this knee injury could be the best thing for him is because, why not start turning around the grades and start your future right now? Why even continue to play football if it's not going to get you anywhere but trouble academically? If he was never injured, and went on to a D-1, D-II or D-III school, he'd continue the path of focusing on athletics and not so much his grades. Sure, he could try to juggle both at the same time, but why mess with your education when you're not going to the NFL anyway? Now that he might not have football, it will force him to realize that school is the only way to set up your future. If he played, who's to say that this same thing wouldn't happen in college, and he'd end his college/football career with a good time playing but horrible GPA, and then get sent off into the real world with no skills or experience?

 

Try to look past the criticism and instead embrace it. It is hard, I know. It's easy to look at everything as if you've failed, but you haven't.

 

ans

 

God are the days from this board where people could be tactful in their comments. As SDS puts it to do that would be to slap me on the @ss and tell me what a great job I did.

 

That is just where the board has gone....and has been there for quite some time.

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Just don't let it linger into bitterness or you will miss the next opportunity to enrich your son's life.

 

This is the biggest thing you have to help your son with. It would be easy to ease into a bitter depression that could screw up a whole life over this injury. That's no exaggeration. With the pain fresh, there's no way to avoid anger and bitterness. At some point, you can help him turn these lemons into lemonade. Even if he can still play football and the injury isn't severe, this is a good wake-up call.

 

The future is on the phone and luckily, your 17 year old son can still do everything to set himself up well if he starts cranking on the classroom. '

 

And remember: Working hard in football won't contribute almost a single valuable thing to his future at this point.

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I think you wacked it on the noggin. No ones wants to see a young man laid up for his senior year of football if he is the #1 prospect in the country or a 2nd stringer happy to wear the jersey. I wish your boy the best of luck with what ever the recovery entails and as you have stated before he is in good shape and the most important thing, he's young. But now is the time to put football aside and focus on a future. he may think his future is 60 minutes on a Friday but YOU know that's not the case.

 

I am not sure how the requirements have changed since I played but you had to carry a 2.5 or you couldn't suit up. If you cant hold a 2.5 that's pretty sad. Either the coaches don't give a sh-t or the kids think it will be handed to them either way. It happens all the time and it just sets the kids up for failure down the line.

 

 

He carried the minimum average....the HS coaches had no problem keeping him on the field.....it all comes down to not doing well in the core classes to progress on out of high school.

 

JUCO was the the main plan after grades came out from this past year.

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This is the biggest thing you have to help your son with. It would be easy to ease into a bitter depression that could screw up a whole life over this injury. That's no exaggeration. With the pain fresh, there's no way to avoid anger and bitterness. At some point, you can help him turn these lemons into lemonade. Even if he can still play football and the injury isn't severe, this is a good wake-up call.

 

The future is on the phone and luckily, your 17 year old son can still do everything to set himself up well if he starts cranking on the classroom. '

 

And remember: Working hard in football won't contribute almost a single valuable thing to his future at this point.

 

I will always be there for him.....and yeah I am expecting a rough transition period.

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SDS.....we are talking about one stinking year of bad grades. To listen to you talk it would make it sound like he was a complete academic @uckup all the way through high school....this was not the case.

 

I dont have an explanation for what happened his junior year....I wish I did but I dont.

 

well, if that was the year he was supposed to learn trigonometry - how is he expected to learn calculus? And while his Junior year may be over, is there any indication this has stopped and his Senior year will be better? You haven't given any indication that the academic bleeding has stopped.

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