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A sad day for me


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My son was being recruited to play football by as high as Div 1 AA schools and before last year looked like he was well on his way......I remember last year thinking just how proud I was going to be watching him put on that hat on signing day.....

 

Things just fell apart this year academic wise (I am getting to the point where I hate pretty young girls and wished my son was a hideous mongloid instead of a good looking kid at least for the time being) and he just fell into a funk that I could not break him out of)

 

THe damage is done......he has no way by the end of his senior year to get good enough grades in retaken core classes to get recruited for Div I football......

 

As we sat in his High School advisors office yesterday the look of disbelief on his face made my heart fall out of my chest and on the floor. I had been after him repeatedly over the course of this past year......tried to get him tutoring that he didn't want......tried to encourage him to budget his time a little better.....I even went to the girlfriend and tried to reason with her that she needed to stop monopolizing his time and bringing him so much drama as this was such a important time in his life.......my wife actually hated her and didn't want her anywhere near our house....I tried to be a mediator through it all.

 

So there we sat.....my son dejected....the advisor tells him to leave the office as she wanted to talk to me alone. She has a special relationship with Brett and was also very upset he has pissed away this opportunity, but she wanted to make sure that I was aware of a few things:

 

- Apparently due to the economy there over the past few years there has been a big push by Div I programs to not give so much scholarship money to incoming freshman players and it is being used to recruit JUCO players....reasons being they are already tested that they can handle college classes, have already been in college programs, are bigger, stronger overall players.

 

- The cost of him starting out at a JUCO in this area is very beneficial financially wise for us (I was not certain I would even be able to afford for him to go to a Div I school unless he got a full ride and more and more they are starting to "divide up" scholarships and not give those free rides to players) then he can continue playing and get that scholarship a couple of years down the road.

 

- He would actually get an extra year to complete his degree because he is academically eligible (this is complicated because right now he only has a 2.7 GPA and didnt do will on his SAT......but for juco purposes apparently he is fine) so he wouldn't have to be at the JUCO for 2 full years before transferring......he would red shirt his first year at the Div I then play the final 2 years and actually get 3 years of scholarship

 

So not feeling so great about the whole thing still I walk out into the lobby and who should be standing there but his football head coach. We all ended up back int he counselors office discussion the whole thing and the coach explained that in a way this is very benificial to Brett because he had way more influence with local JUCO programs then he did with Div I's and could help get him into the best program to get him on his way to Div I

 

I just wanted him to have choices dammit

 

-

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that's not sad...its an opportunity...you and your son are 'lucky' to have that opportunity...hard work and perseverance will get him back on the original track. please do not be disappointed....you should be proud he has made it this far...good luck

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I just wanted him to have choices dammit

 

-

 

 

I sense your anguish - it is just hard to get kids to understand how their actions and decisions really do impact their future. At the same time, try to let this work out well for him. He has a chance - even if he has to go indirectly through a JUCO - of getting to an end point that he was hoping for.

 

Keep in mind he did have choices (he apparently choose girls - not hard to do when you are a walking cesspool of adolescent hormones - and mismangement of his time). Hopefully he learns from this and ends up a better man as a result.

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So not feeling so great about the whole thing still I walk out into the lobby and who should be standing there but his football head coach. We all ended up back int he counselors office discussion the whole thing and the coach explained that in a way this is very benificial to Brett because he had way more influence with local JUCO programs then he did with Div I's and could help get him into the best program to get him on his way to Div I

 

I just wanted him to have choices dammit

 

That ringing sound is a wake-up call - for you and your son! I have four grown children, so I am not talking philosophically, heh. This coach can help a LOT. It is up to your son now. You can advise him but you are not driving the car anymore.

 

Good luck!

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That ringing sound is a wake-up call - for you and your son! I have four grown children, so I am not talking philosophically, heh. This coach can help a LOT. It is up to your son now. You can advise him but you are not driving the car anymore.

 

Good luck!

 

Actually Rock that is one of the things that I truly am having a hard time coping with.....I am NOT driving the car anymore......

 

I used to have a lot of influence and had a really good feeling about the way things were generally headed.....but not so much this past year.

 

I just want my kids to turn out well.....I dont want them to look back on their lives 10 years from now telling stories of "what could have been"

 

- I never finished high school and had to work 2 full time jobs to take care of my grandparents.....I eventually did go back to college before getting hurt (playing football) then joined the Air Force......

 

- My wife barely finished high school and never even considered going to college......she has a trade and does ok but......

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It sounds like you wanted all of that more than your son did. If he decides he wants this, he'll buckle down in the classroom and work hard on and off the field to accomplish his goals. But you can't try to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. There is only so much you can do.

 

Maybe his heart isn't in it, maybe it is, who knows? But if he wants to make it happen, and it certainly sounds like he's got the talent, it shouldn't be too difficult to get it done and get noticed. Scouts are everywhere these days, he'll be fine. But he has to commit himself.

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that's not sad...its an opportunity...you and your son are 'lucky' to have that opportunity...hard work and perseverance will get him back on the original track. please do not be disappointed....you should be proud he has made it this far...good luck

 

 

That ringing sound is a wake-up call - for you and your son! I have four grown children, so I am not talking philosophically, heh. This coach can help a LOT. It is up to your son now. You can advise him but you are not driving the car anymore.

 

Good luck!

 

What they said. The alarm clock should be going off now. Tell him it's lots of fun now and nothing in the future or hard work now and a much brighter future.

 

 

 

Why did you feel the need to post that? :thumbsup::rolleyes:

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It sounds like you wanted all of that more than your son did. If he decides he wants this, he'll buckle down in the classroom and work hard on and off the field to accomplish his goals. But you can't try to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. There is only so much you can do.

 

Maybe his heart isn't in it, maybe it is, who knows? But if he wants to make it happen, and it certainly sounds like he's got the talent, it shouldn't be too difficult to get it done and get noticed. Scouts are everywhere these days, he'll be fine. But he has to commit himself.

 

Oh yes....I freely admit that I totally want this for him.

 

The thing is.....I absolutely know that he wants to play FOOTBALL.......the thing that I see now is that the disconnect is he wants to play football much more then he wants to use it as an avenue to get a good education....where as the opposite is true for me.

 

What I have had a hard time getting him to understand is he doesn't get one without the other. I am hoping that yesterdays events shook him enough for him to realize that.

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It sounds like you wanted all of that more than your son did. If he decides he wants this, he'll buckle down in the classroom and work hard on and off the field to accomplish his goals. But you can't try to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. There is only so much you can do.

 

Maybe his heart isn't in it, maybe it is, who knows? But if he wants to make it happen, and it certainly sounds like he's got the talent, it shouldn't be too difficult to get it done and get noticed. Scouts are everywhere these days, he'll be fine. But he has to commit himself.

 

Oh yes....I freely admit that I totally want this for him.

 

The thing is.....I absolutely know that he wants to play FOOTBALL.......the thing that I see now is that the disconnect is he wants to play football much more then he wants to use it as an avenue to get a good education....where as the opposite is true for me.

 

What I have had a hard time getting him to understand is he doesn't get one without the other. I am hoping that yesterdays events shook him enough for him to realize that.

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Oh yes....I freely admit that I totally want this for him.

 

The thing is.....I absolutely know that he wants to play FOOTBALL.......the thing that I see now is that the disconnect is he wants to play football much more then he wants to use it as an avenue to get a good education....where as the opposite is true for me.

 

What I have had a hard time getting him to understand is he doesn't get one without the other. I am hoping that yesterdays events shook him enough for him to realize that.

 

 

Oh yes....I freely admit that I totally want this for him.

 

The thing is.....I absolutely know that he wants to play FOOTBALL.......the thing that I see now is that the disconnect is he wants to play football much more then he wants to use it as an avenue to get a good education....where as the opposite is true for me.

 

What I have had a hard time getting him to understand is he doesn't get one without the other. I am hoping that yesterdays events shook him enough for him to realize that.

 

Jeez, you'd think that after telling him twice it should sink in eventually. :rolleyes:

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Fug dude!!! What's wrong with you!!!! :rolleyes:

 

Why couldn't you have posted this before I clicked on that link. But you have to admit he does have a point. Anytime you feel your having a bad day, just click on that link. Poof you "bad" day all of a sudden seems so much brighter.

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i saw something as i passed the mouse over the link about possible protrusions through body parts and that was enough to keep me from clicking...now i am glad i didnt

 

Why couldn't you have posted this before I clicked on that link. But you have to admit he does have a point. Anytime you feel your having a bad day, just click on that link. Poof you "bad" day all of a sudden seems so much brighter.
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Oh yes....I freely admit that I totally want this for him.

 

The thing is.....I absolutely know that he wants to play FOOTBALL.......the thing that I see now is that the disconnect is he wants to play football much more then he wants to use it as an avenue to get a good education....where as the opposite is true for me.

 

What I have had a hard time getting him to understand is he doesn't get one without the other. I am hoping that yesterdays events shook him enough for him to realize that.

 

I have no idea how to get this message across but it sure is the one you need to get through to him. In 4-5 years, he'll play his last pads/arena football game ever. But the education he gets during those years will carry him through the 50-60 years left in his life after that.

 

I am not one to wax on that a college education is worth a ton in the real world (outside the sciences). But--and it's a big but--a college degree opens doors that a high school diploma never will. It's not necessarily always fair but it's a fact.

 

I saw Justice Scalia interviewed about this once and I'll paraphrase his response and put quotes around it, even thought it's not precisely what he said. "I won't interview a person from a non-Ivy League school. I also won't interview anyone not in the top 5% of their class. Why bother? If a candidate is in the top 5% of the best schools in the country, the odds are that they are the best and brightest possible candidates to be a Supreme Court clerk. Is it always right? Of course not. But it's better to look for diamonds in a coal mine than a forest."

 

I'm sure he was both more eloquent and abrasive but you get the idea. That college degree matters.

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My son was being recruited to play football by as high as Div 1 AA schools and before last year looked like he was well on his way......I remember last year thinking just how proud I was going to be watching him put on that hat on signing day.....

 

Things just fell apart this year academic wise (I am getting to the point where I hate pretty young girls and wished my son was a hideous mongloid instead of a good looking kid at least for the time being) and he just fell into a funk that I could not break him out of)

 

THe damage is done......he has no way by the end of his senior year to get good enough grades in retaken core classes to get recruited for Div I football......

 

As we sat in his High School advisors office yesterday the look of disbelief on his face made my heart fall out of my chest and on the floor. I had been after him repeatedly over the course of this past year......tried to get him tutoring that he didn't want......tried to encourage him to budget his time a little better.....I even went to the girlfriend and tried to reason with her that she needed to stop monopolizing his time and bringing him so much drama as this was such a important time in his life.......my wife actually hated her and didn't want her anywhere near our house....I tried to be a mediator through it all.

 

So there we sat.....my son dejected....the advisor tells him to leave the office as she wanted to talk to me alone. She has a special relationship with Brett and was also very upset he has pissed away this opportunity, but she wanted to make sure that I was aware of a few things:

 

- Apparently due to the economy there over the past few years there has been a big push by Div I programs to not give so much scholarship money to incoming freshman players and it is being used to recruit JUCO players....reasons being they are already tested that they can handle college classes, have already been in college programs, are bigger, stronger overall players.

 

- The cost of him starting out at a JUCO in this area is very beneficial financially wise for us (I was not certain I would even be able to afford for him to go to a Div I school unless he got a full ride and more and more they are starting to "divide up" scholarships and not give those free rides to players) then he can continue playing and get that scholarship a couple of years down the road.

 

- He would actually get an extra year to complete his degree because he is academically eligible (this is complicated because right now he only has a 2.7 GPA and didnt do will on his SAT......but for juco purposes apparently he is fine) so he wouldn't have to be at the JUCO for 2 full years before transferring......he would red shirt his first year at the Div I then play the final 2 years and actually get 3 years of scholarship

 

So not feeling so great about the whole thing still I walk out into the lobby and who should be standing there but his football head coach. We all ended up back int he counselors office discussion the whole thing and the coach explained that in a way this is very benificial to Brett because he had way more influence with local JUCO programs then he did with Div I's and could help get him into the best program to get him on his way to Div I

 

I just wanted him to have choices dammit

 

-

 

 

Couple things here John.

 

First, not the end of the world, after 2 years of Juco, with him keeping his grades up, if he is good enough some D-1 program will scoop him. Especially being out in California(where there are a ton of schools, Cal, UCLA, USC, Fresno St etc...) they will be right in his backyard to get a first hand look at him.

 

2nd what the hell is wrong with a 2.7 GPA. Unless they totally redid the GPA since I been in school. That should be more then enough to play & get into a division 1a school. Hell, I graduated with a 2.6 from SU & I was fuggin thrilled :rolleyes: . (I have low expectations of myself)

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