8/18 Practice in new stadium giveaway - Winners Selected

[Virgil]

I have 2 tickets to the Bills practice in the new stadium on 8/18 at 8:30a.  
 

I can’t think of a good way to give them away, so here’s my best shot.  
 

If you are interested, please don’t DM me.  Reply to this thread and give me your best joke.  On Monday, whichever joke gets the best laugh out of me, gets the tickets. 
 

As a backup, also pick a number between 1-100.  Closest to the pin wins. 
 

MODS, if this isn’t allowed, I apologize and please delete. 
 

*Edit* This is not for season ticket holders.  This is for people who don’t have a chance to see the stadium.  

Edited August 10 by Virgil

[Draconator]

4 minutes ago, Virgil said:

I have 2 tickets to the Bills practice in the new stadium on 8/18 at 8:30a.  
 

I can’t think of a good way to give them away, so here’s my best shot.  
 

If you are interested, please don’t DM me.  Reply to this thread and give me your best joke.  On Monday, whichever joke gets the best laugh out of me, gets the tickets. 
 

As a backup, also pick a number between 1-100.  Closest to the pin wins. 
 

MODS, if this isn’t allowed, I apologize and please delete. 

What is God's favorite guitar chord? G-Sus

 

And 24

[stevewin]

Vrabel

[Dablitzkrieg]

Wife told me sex is better on vacation.......

 

 

 

Worst postcard I ever received. 

 

17

[poo]

If you think one can get married, become a dad, and win a Super Bowl in the same season; I bet your Just Joshin

5 -As in, I'll take my 5 year old to his first bills game ever if I win

 

 

 

[Sierra Foothills]

My best joke?

 

Your haircut.

 

17 please... thanks!

 

[Virgil]

1 hour ago, Sierra Foothills said:

17 please... thanks!

 

Already taken 

[nucci]

Called my plumber, told him I got a leak in my sink. He said, go ahead.

[Psautcsk]

Funniest knock, knock joke ever: You start it.........

[ChevyVanMiller]

I went in for my annual check-up last week and my doctor told me I had to stop jerking off.

 

”Why,” I asked?

 

”Because I’m trying to examine you,” he responded.

 

11

Edited August 7 by ChevyVanMiller

[Pete]

I wouldn’t buy Velcro if I were you.  It’s a total rip off 

 

66

Edited August 7 by Pete

[Goin Breakdown]

22

[KingBoots8]

Why couldn’t Darth Vader find Princess Leia?

 

He was looking in Alderaan places

 

8

[Chandler#81]

Holy Schnikies!

[Jtowntobuffalo]

Patriots fans kept saying “WE’RE BACK!” after they won the division.

I didn’t believe them….

Then the cheating rumors started.

And I thought…. yep…. now they’re definitely back.

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

14 minutes ago, Jtowntobuffalo said:

Patriots fans kept saying “WE’RE BACK!” after they won the division.

I didn’t believe them….

Then the cheating rumors started.

And I thought…. yep…. now they’re definitely back.

Are you talking football cheating, or extramarital affairs cheating? 🤔

*
"Shut up, you foos!  Look at the cute puppy I brought!" 😡

 

[Ned Flanders]

Ralph is cheap

 

78

[Jtowntobuffalo]

5 minutes ago, Ridgewaycynic2013 said:

Are you talking football cheating, or extramarital affairs cheating? 🤔

*
"Shut up, you foos!  Look at the cute puppy I brought!" 😡

 

Yes.

[Simon]

A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar and the 'tender asks them what they'll have.

The priest says "I'll have some meade"

The minister says "I'll take a glass of cider"

The rabbit says "I'm just here because of autocorrect"

[ticketssince61]

A man is sitting at the AFC championship game in a seat on the 50 yard line - and there is an empty seat next to him

 

Someone asks why there is an empty seat there.

 

He replies that he and his wife sat together at every game for 43 years, but she passed away so the seat is empty

 

He is asked: why didn't you give the seat to a friend?

 

He replies: They are all at the funeral

 

17