Jump to content

My mother died last night


Punching Bag

Recommended Posts

Sorry for your loss.  The only good thing I ever seem to make positive out of hearing of death, is to remind myself to live every day to the fullest.  I hope you can do that too.   

 

Edited by Irv
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Limeaid said:

She has been in Elderwood Assisted Living in Hamburg for a while but her health has gotten worse and worse.  She has had a "Do not resuscitate order" for a while with diabetes, heart, lung and other issues.  She was hospital for breathing issues and they discovered it was due to anemia and has been giving blood but they also discovered something, probably cancer, on liver.  My mother said she would be willing to try radiation therapy but not chemo but later changed her mind and said she just wanted to go home and she meant Heaven.  She was given communion and I assume last rights and given morphine until she was able to transferred to a hospice.  He never made it; she was given morphine at midnight and when nurse checked at 2 am her eyes were open but she had died.

 

Dying in hospital means it does not require autopsy.  I am unable to handle the drive alone, certainly not at short notice without staying in hotel on way, so after my wife gets off work Friday we will drive up, get a few hours sleep and go to funeral.   Stay day and drive back on Sunday.  I wish I was able to talk to my mom but she could not hear cell phone, does not text and I have not been able to be in touch with her this year despite multiple calls.  I know she has been uncomfortable constantly in hospital last few years so I hope now she is at peace.

 

I'm sorry for your loss.  RIP to your mother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Limeaid -- I am so sorry for your loss. 

 

This may sound a little crazy, but I have adorned my office desk with a picture of my mom (10 years gone) & dad (20 years gone), and a picture of my stepson (2 years gone).  These are the immediate families members I have lost.  All 3 pictures have the brightest smiles I could find of each.  I try to take just a second every day I am in the office to remember a joyful time with each one and pray a short personal prayer for them to watch over the family that is still on earth.  Its helped me a lot....remember the joyful as part of your grieving process my Bills brother...

  • Like (+1) 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/6/2020 at 7:05 AM, Limeaid said:

I wish I was able to talk to my mom but she could not hear cell phone, does not text and I have not been able to be in touch with her this year despite multiple calls.

My condolences for your loss.

 

I've been through this with both Mom and Dad and have this request based on experience  --- be kind to yourself during this time. Don't beat yourself up second guessing. Beating yourself just adds needless pain. You did the best you could under the circumstances.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Returned from funeral last night and it was quickest trip we have ever made and even stopped by Gio's BBQ (http://www.giosbbq.net/) to get some ribs and sides from row.  Normally I'd credit my wife's driving but I did majority of driving including thru PA mountains and these days with my health that is very unusual.  I do not go to many funerals, childhood scare, but the place was standing room only including people from neighborhood (Steelton, Blasdell) I grew up in and our family has not lived there for 30 years.  My mother will be missed by many.

 

mother.jpg

 

 

On 2/8/2020 at 11:06 PM, JoeF said:

@Limeaid -- I am so sorry for your loss. 

 

This may sound a little crazy, but I have adorned my office desk with a picture of my mom (10 years gone) & dad (20 years gone), and a picture of my stepson (2 years gone).  These are the immediate families members I have lost.  All 3 pictures have the brightest smiles I could find of each.  I try to take just a second every day I am in the office to remember a joyful time with each one and pray a short personal prayer for them to watch over the family that is still on earth.  Its helped me a lot....remember the joyful as part of your grieving process my Bills brother...

 

Crazy yes but crazy great!

  • Like (+1) 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your mother had a lot of people at the funeral because she touched more people than you realized. I'm sure some people in attendance hadn't seen her in a long time but wanted to pay their respects for the simple fact that they wanted to acknowledge that through her goodness and kindness she touched them. We often are not aware how we influence people but how we live is how we will be remembered. A good person is a good person. The people in attendance and many not in attendance through their thoughts and prayers were paying her respect for the person she was. Again, condolences. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...