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My mother died last night


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She has been in Elderwood Assisted Living in Hamburg for a while but her health has gotten worse and worse.  She has had a "Do not resuscitate order" for a while with diabetes, heart, lung and other issues.  She was hospital for breathing issues and they discovered it was due to anemia and has been giving blood but they also discovered something, probably cancer, on liver.  My mother said she would be willing to try radiation therapy but not chemo but later changed her mind and said she just wanted to go home and she meant Heaven.  She was given communion and I assume last rights and given morphine until she was able to transferred to a hospice.  He never made it; she was given morphine at midnight and when nurse checked at 2 am her eyes were open but she had died.

 

Dying in hospital means it does not require autopsy.  I am unable to handle the drive alone, certainly not at short notice without staying in hotel on way, so after my wife gets off work Friday we will drive up, get a few hours sleep and go to funeral.   Stay day and drive back on Sunday.  I wish I was able to talk to my mom but she could not hear cell phone, does not text and I have not been able to be in touch with her this year despite multiple calls.  I know she has been uncomfortable constantly in hospital last few years so I hope now she is at peace.

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Very sorry for your loss.  When my Mom passed, I was in Houston and she was in Buffalo.  Despite my best efforts, i couldn't make it back to be with her when she died.  That's a hurt that has been with me for a long time.  I'm sure we both know that I did my best, but it was still very difficult.

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16 minutes ago, Marv's Neighbor said:

Very sorry for your loss.  When my Mom passed, I was in Houston and she was in Buffalo.  Despite my best efforts, i couldn't make it back to be with her when she died.  That's a hurt that has been with me for a long time.  I'm sure we both know that I did my best, but it was still very difficult.

 

I am sure you did.  My condolances.

I would have liked to have talked to her using facetime (?) over phone and my brother said he would try to arrange it.  She had trouble with hearing cell phone ring so I have not been able to talk to her this year.

I was making plans to see her in hospice this weekend but she never made it there so I am going to Blasdell anyways just more urgently so I can be at funeral on time.

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Nothing I could say could probably ease your pain but I send my condolences. Take comfort in hearing that she had been given care to make her comfortable - I believe at the end it is not about all the extraordinary measure you take to gain only small amounts of time, but that you are comfortable and at peace and it sounds like that's what your mother had.

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