Jump to content
LabattBlue

Wedding Gift Question

Wedding gift amount?  

36 members have voted

  1. 1. How much(per person) do you put in the envelope when attending a wedding of a FRIEND?

    • $25-49
      4
    • $50-74
      6
    • $75-$99
      5
    • $100+
      21
  2. 2. How much(per person) do you put in the envelope when attending a wedding of a FAMILY MEMBER?

    • $25-49
      1
    • $50-74
      4
    • $75-$99
      4
    • $100+
      27
  3. 3. Cash, Check or Gift?

    • Cash
      15
    • Check
      17
    • Gift
      4


Recommended Posts

On 11/15/2019 at 3:53 PM, Mark Vader said:

Does your son and family members know to not get married during football season?

 

If UGA is playing She will be a no-show. If the Bills are playing, my son will make everybody wait until the fat lady sings.  

  • Awesome! (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

If UGA is playing She will be a no-show. If the Bills are playing, my son will make everybody wait until the fat lady sings.  

They sound like a great couple.

  • Thanks! (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

 

If my son would get married I'd gladly pony-up for a big reception. *sigh*. 

 

They have told me if (when) they get married they want it to be small (just immediate family). I blinked a few times, but hey, if it is what they want...

 

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬

 

It appears my son and his GF (hopefully fiancé is the next 24 hours) will be getting matching gifts from parents on both sides. Pretty sizable sums that will be enough to pay for a big reception and a very nice honeymoon with plenty left over. NOW, how much of that will they spend? I have no idea, and that’s their business.

 

I suspect they will play it conservatively, and I’d like to see them take the wise path. It sounds like he’s been looking into costs and he’s in sticker shock! He texted a while ago saying “we need to buy a wedding venue!”

  • Haha (+1) 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Gray Beard said:

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬


What is with these "kids"!? My son is over 30, he ain't gettin' any younger (and neither am I!) Time to move it along!

(My son is the hold-up, if it were up to her, they would have been married years ago... why she stays with him, I do not know. I'd have dumped his ass years ago.)
 

Edited by Buffalo_Gal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 


If he waits until 40, there will be problems. Besides my kicking his butt for waiting so long, she will be 38. It isn't always easy to conceive in your late-30s, early 40s. They have been together for four or five years already, living together for two or three years. Move it along! shesh
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:


If he waits until 40, there will be problems. Besides my kicking his butt for waiting so long, she will be 38. It isn't always easy to conceive in your late-30s, early 40s. They have been together for four or five years already, living together for two or three years. Move it along! shesh
 

Mom was 41 when she had me, 37 when she started.PLenty o time !!!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, plenzmd1 said:

Mom was 41 when she had me, 37 when she started.PLenty o time !!!

 

 


:censored: Do not give him any ideas.

  • Haha (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:


What is with these "kids"!? My son is over 30, he ain't gettin' any younger (and neither am I!) Time to move it along!

(My son is the hold-up, if it were up to her, they would have been married years ago... why she stays with him, I do not know. I'd have dumped his ass years ago.)
 

 

28 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 

We are having a family reunion/party this coming summer, so that takes the pressure off. 

 

My son and his fiancé are both 30, so in my opinion, they should get down to business pretty soon!

 

Fortunately, my daughter who is 33 has a four year old daughter, so we have one grandchild. Unfortunately, the whole pregnancy/childbirth/infancy experience was not as smooth as it could’ve been, so my daughter is reluctant to do it again. 

Edited by Gray Beard
  • Like (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

Who in hell are the people <$100... ??? $25-$49... ??? This ain't 1966.  That won't cover plate & booze even @ Bob's Country Bunker in Kokomo, Indiana... Okay, maybe that will! 😁

 

We had our reception in a fancy hotel, I think cost per person for meal and open bar was about $90/each. 

 

15 hours ago, Gugny said:

One of my Supervisors at work is getting married in a couple weeks.  I'm not going to her wedding (it's one of those destination things), but I will give her and her husband $100.  The main reason is because a colleague of mine jumped on her registry and got them a ***** microwave.  So I can't come in with a 50 spot after that.

 

Were you invited? Is this supervisor and family close enough to you to even invite you to the wedding? Is this colleague just being a brown noser? I've only gone to someone I worked with wedding once, because it was a small company, under 10 employees, and me and the groom did hang out together outside of work. 

 

14 hours ago, Keukasmallies said:

Huh?

 

Another term for a Jack & Jill. 

Edited by Just Jack

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Augie said:

 He texted a while ago saying “we need to buy a wedding venue!”

 

Old, refurbished barns seem to be the big draw around here lately. Each one we checked out while looking for a venue, we were told needed to be reserved almost a year in advance, due to demand. 

 

But, hey, if you're serious, here's one for sale....

 

https://www.syracuse.com/news/2019/11/a-complete-nightmare-bride-finds-out-wysockis-is-closing-7-months-before-wedding.html

 

https://www.weddingwire.com/biz/wysockis-manor-cicero/1000379a8dc1c530.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/15/2019 at 3:53 PM, Mark Vader said:

Does your son and family members know to not get married during football season?

 

After further consideration, it might be wise to look over the schedule and find a weekend where UGA plays Alabama, Auburn or Florida. That could save north of $10k on reception expenses, and the gift’s will still roll in! 😋

 

They take their CFB seriously down here, and I’ll still get my Bills game the next day.

 

 

(I’m only about half kidding!)

  • Haha (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Just Jack said:

 

Old, refurbished barns seem to be the big draw around here lately. Each one we checked out while looking for a venue, we were told needed to be reserved almost a year in advance, due to demand. 

 

But, hey, if you're serious, here's one for sale....

 

https://www.syracuse.com/news/2019/11/a-complete-nightmare-bride-finds-out-wysockis-is-closing-7-months-before-wedding.html

 

https://www.weddingwire.com/biz/wysockis-manor-cicero/1000379a8dc1c530.html

I recently went to a wedding at a converted industrial site.  You’re right, it’s the latest trend. 

https://premierweddingvenuescny.com/venues/the-cannery/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

I recently went to a wedding at a converted industrial site.  You’re right, it’s the latest trend. 

https://premierweddingvenuescny.com/venues/the-cannery/

 

I think because you can make it “cool”, without being so stinking expensive! My wife has run LOTS of big events, and she says plan on $150/head. For 100 people it will be around $15k. Not sure they can get it under 100 even if they try. The GF is one of six daughters and my wife has a huge family as well. (Other recent family weddings have already created a rift because you have to draw the line somewhere!) If you can skip the Ritz and get that down significantly in a clever alternative site, WHY NOT? 

  • Like (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Just Jack said:

Were you invited? Is this supervisor and family close enough to you to even invite you to the wedding? Is this colleague just being a brown noser? I've only gone to someone I worked with wedding once, because it was a small company, under 10 employees, and me and the groom did hang out together outside of work. 

 

I was not invited.  She isn't a brown noser (and I'm the kind of manager where brown nosing makes me lose all respect and will have the opposite effect than the brown noser thinks it will) by any means.  We work very closely together (she's actually going to be be promoted soon, so she will no longer report to me) and have a great working relationship.  We don't hang outside of work (she's about 15 years younger than I am).  

 

I will admit ... this is not typical behavior for me.  I normally don't cross lines.  It's just a big deal and I want to get them a little something.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 42 and just got married (wife is 41) a little more than a month ago (October 12)  and most friends gave $50 and most family members gave $100.

Edited by The Jokeman

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

I think because you can make it “cool”, without being so stinking expensive! My wife has run LOTS of big events, and she says plan on $150/head. For 100 people it will be around $15k. Not sure they can get it under 100 even if they try. The GF is one of six daughters and my wife has a huge family as well. (Other recent family weddings have already created a rift because you have to draw the line somewhere!) If you can skip the Ritz and get that down significantly in a clever alternative site, WHY NOT? 

When my daughter got married, my wife had a lot of input. Many tears were shed. The son in law and I were getting frustrated and angry because of all the stress and emotion.  It actually was a successful and enjoyable day in the end, but I’m still not sure it was worth the toll it took on the people involved.  That’s the stuff my son and his fiancé want to avoid. 

 

And don’t get me started on the cost of professional wedding photographers. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, The Jokeman said:

I'm 42 and just got married (wife is 41) a little more than a month ago (October 12)  and most friends gave $50 and most family members gave $100.

 

Congrats!!!

13 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

When my daughter got married, my wife had a lot of input. Many tears were shed. The son in law and I were getting frustrated and angry because of all the stress and emotion.  It actually was a successful and enjoyable day in the end, but I’m still not sure it was worth the toll it took on the people involved.  That’s the stuff my son and his fiancé want to avoid. 

 

And don’t get me started on the cost of professional wedding photographers. 

 

My son is spending $400 just for some time today, on his engagement day. I can’t imagine what the wedding would cost. As I mentioned, they will get money from both sides to spend or save as they please. I think once the fiancé/former wedding planner gets involved they will spend wisely. 

  • Like (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
57 minutes ago, Gugny said:

 

I was not invited.  She isn't a brown noser (and I'm the kind of manager where brown nosing makes me lose all respect and will have the opposite effect than the brown noser thinks it will) by any means.  We work very closely together (she's actually going to be be promoted soon, so she will no longer report to me) and have a great working relationship.  We don't hang outside of work (she's about 15 years younger than I am).  

 

I will admit ... this is not typical behavior for me.  I normally don't cross lines.  It's just a big deal and I want to get them a little something.  

 

I think I’d look for something thoughtful and cheap then. Has she mentioned any favorite restaurants? How about a gift card to one she likes? The wife and I actually do love getting restaurant gift cards because then we can have “cheap date nights”. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Just Jack said:

 

I think I’d look for something thoughtful and cheap then. Has she mentioned any favorite restaurants? How about a gift card to one she likes? The wife and I actually do love getting restaurant gift cards because then we can have “cheap date nights”. 

 

Well, I would, but one of my colleagues went and got them a microwave off of their registry.  He wasn't invited, either and there's not even any reporting structure there.  I'm just gonna give them $100 in a card.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Augie, you live on the UES?

 

this is why weddings have gotten out of hand, as well as birthday party’s etc. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
49 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

And don’t get me started on the cost of professional wedding photographers. 

 

Don't go cheap. I did my first wedding and was very disappointed. We had better photos from the guests than the photographer. Same goes for video and DJ. 

  • Like (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not sure what is more surprising...the number of extremely generous people(unless they missed the part about "per person"), or the number of people who still put cash in the card.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if it's a standard wedding that i don't have any real close ties to, it's usually $150 so i'm paying for my time there.  close family and people i care about get in the $300 range.  for a couple of very close friends i wrote big checks.  these were also the guys who would buy me drinks and cover dinners while i was still in school and had nothing.  they looked out for me so i was more than happy to share with them.  

 

if people want to go smaller, i like the idea of the gift cards, especially to restaurants.  as jack mentioned, it gives you a cheap date night out.  it might sound strange, but i'd rather get a $50 gift card to a good restaurant than $50 cash, (when it comes to this type of a gift).

  • Like (+1) 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...