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Wedding Gift Question

Wedding gift amount?  

36 members have voted

  1. 1. How much(per person) do you put in the envelope when attending a wedding of a FRIEND?

    • $25-49
      4
    • $50-74
      6
    • $75-$99
      5
    • $100+
      21
  2. 2. How much(per person) do you put in the envelope when attending a wedding of a FAMILY MEMBER?

    • $25-49
      1
    • $50-74
      4
    • $75-$99
      4
    • $100+
      27
  3. 3. Cash, Check or Gift?

    • Cash
      15
    • Check
      17
    • Gift
      4


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1 minute ago, OldTimeAFLGuy said:

 

...the reception cost (food, beverage, oyster bar, etc) was $65,000.......my daughter books weddings for some of the more prominent families in the community......three "brides to be" who were all close friends, booked their weddings......after the 1st one, the 2nd one added a bunch of stuff to outdo the 1st one........the 3rd one gets married in 2020 and she is doing the same "add" thing.....she is already over 100 grand just for the reception and.....rising...SMH......

well , the old adage is whats a ton to us may not be a lot to them. But damn, the "look at me " world of facebook and the Gram have driven this crap....

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3 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

well , the old adage is whats a ton to us may not be a lot to them. But damn, the "look at me " world of facebook and the Gram have driven this crap....

 

 

...she had one that was >100 grand.......spent 18 grand on FAKE flowers....4 grand to rent fancier chairs......bride and groom were disappointed because they wanted to hire Sam Hunt (country music star) for the reception, but he was booked.....

Edited by OldTimeAFLGuy

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27 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

so what does it take to cover the cost of the plate on that one? Man, i be bust just going to a wedding LOL! BTW, already told my daughter, she is having her wedding paid for right now, its called tuition!

 

If my son would get married I'd gladly pony-up for a big reception. *sigh*. 

 

They have told me if (when) they get married they want it to be small (just immediate family). I blinked a few times, but hey, if it is what they want...

 

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 

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5 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 

 

Perhaps they're just having fun driving you crazy!

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22 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

 

If my son would get married I'd gladly pony-up for a big reception. *sigh*. 

 

They have told me if (when) they get married they want it to be small (just immediate family). I blinked a few times, but hey, if it is what they want...

 

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 

we bought a house and lived together for two years before getting married.Then no babies for 4 years after that!And my Mom was 75 when we got married!!! Course, my brother had a couple at that point, so heat was off!!!!

 

 

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33 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

 

If my son would get married I'd gladly pony-up for a big reception. *sigh*. 

 

They have told me if (when) they get married they want it to be small (just immediate family). I blinked a few times, but hey, if it is what they want...

 

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 


everyone says they want a small occasion....

 

 

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20 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

we bought a house and lived together for two years before getting married.Then no babies for 4 years after that!And my Mom was 75 when we got married!!! Course, my brother had a couple at that point, so heat was off!!!!

 

 


I'll be dead before they have kids. 😭

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On 11/15/2019 at 9:45 AM, Buffalo_Gal said:

Way over $100 a plate. I want the newlyweds to not start too far in debt after their big party. After that, I add a gift amount. (So I pay for each plate + gift amount.)

I only buy presents (plus the check) for very close family members. Everyone else just gets a check (too many stories about envelopes being stolen, I can always put a stop payment on a check and issue a new one).


Seconded on using checks, for that reason. It happened at my brother’s wedding in the late ‘90s. We have no idea who did it and sets a marriage off on a very unpleasant course. Cash is too easy to disappear to light fingers and there is NO safety net of cancelling checks or the thief just not being able to cash them. In this day and age, it’s a good idea to have some kind of security camera set up at the gift / envelope table.

 

This truly is a fallen world.

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I have a question -- I'm going to my cousin's wedding next weekend and I found out that the "open bar" will not include mixed drinks/hard liquor, only wine and possibly beer.  Does this affect the amount you would put in the card and envelope as a gift?

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21 minutes ago, Happy Gilmore said:

I have a question -- I'm going to my cousin's wedding next weekend and I found out that the "open bar" will not include mixed drinks/hard liquor, only wine and possibly beer.  Does this affect the amount you would put in the card and envelope as a gift?

I would think not, but seems like i am an outlier here as i never consider the cost the reception in what I am giving as a gift.

 

True story, had a cousin get married on the Eastern Shore..they had a keg which was free, had to pat $.50 for a soda!!!! Glad all i drank was beer!

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On 11/15/2019 at 3:53 PM, Mark Vader said:

Does your son and family members know to not get married during football season?

 

If UGA is playing She will be a no-show. If the Bills are playing, my son will make everybody wait until the fat lady sings.  

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5 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

If UGA is playing She will be a no-show. If the Bills are playing, my son will make everybody wait until the fat lady sings.  

They sound like a great couple.

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6 hours ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

 

If my son would get married I'd gladly pony-up for a big reception. *sigh*. 

 

They have told me if (when) they get married they want it to be small (just immediate family). I blinked a few times, but hey, if it is what they want...

 

They bought a house together this year, so I have no idea what they are waiting on. The sooner they get married, the sooner I get grandchildren. 

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬

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4 minutes ago, Gray Beard said:

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬

 

It appears my son and his GF (hopefully fiancé is the next 24 hours) will be getting matching gifts from parents on both sides. Pretty sizable sums that will be enough to pay for a big reception and a very nice honeymoon with plenty left over. NOW, how much of that will they spend? I have no idea, and that’s their business.

 

I suspect they will play it conservatively, and I’d like to see them take the wise path. It sounds like he’s been looking into costs and he’s in sticker shock! He texted a while ago saying “we need to buy a wedding venue!”

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1 hour ago, Gray Beard said:

I’m in a similar situation with my son and his fiancé. My son’s attitude is that they aren’t ready for kids yet, and there’s no hurry to get married if no kids are imminent. 

My wife and I have said that we want them to get married so that we can have a party/family reunion, and we will pay. They’re not interested. 🤬


What is with these "kids"!? My son is over 30, he ain't gettin' any younger (and neither am I!) Time to move it along!

(My son is the hold-up, if it were up to her, they would have been married years ago... why she stays with him, I do not know. I'd have dumped his ass years ago.)
 

Edited by Buffalo_Gal

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Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 

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2 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 


If he waits until 40, there will be problems. Besides my kicking his butt for waiting so long, she will be 38. It isn't always easy to conceive in your late-30s, early 40s. They have been together for four or five years already, living together for two or three years. Move it along! shesh
 

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4 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:


If he waits until 40, there will be problems. Besides my kicking his butt for waiting so long, she will be 38. It isn't always easy to conceive in your late-30s, early 40s. They have been together for four or five years already, living together for two or three years. Move it along! shesh
 

Mom was 41 when she had me, 37 when she started.PLenty o time !!!

 

 

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1 minute ago, plenzmd1 said:

Mom was 41 when she had me, 37 when she started.PLenty o time !!!

 

 


:censored: Do not give him any ideas.

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37 minutes ago, Buffalo_Gal said:


What is with these "kids"!? My son is over 30, he ain't gettin' any younger (and neither am I!) Time to move it along!

(My son is the hold-up, if it were up to her, they would have been married years ago... why she stays with him, I do not know. I'd have dumped his ass years ago.)
 

 

28 minutes ago, plenzmd1 said:

Hey @Gray Beard and @Buffalo_Gal your boys sound like smart intelligent young men! 

 

Gray, just throw a party , why the need for a wedding? Lots cheaper with none of the stupid stuff people like to spend money on at a wedding. 

 

And Gal, like I said I was 34 when I got married, still seems about a good 5 years too early. I think 40 sounds about right for a man to settle down. Course with a 24 year old woman who will take care of him when he has fallen and can’t get up. 

We are having a family reunion/party this coming summer, so that takes the pressure off. 

 

My son and his fiancé are both 30, so in my opinion, they should get down to business pretty soon!

 

Fortunately, my daughter who is 33 has a four year old daughter, so we have one grandchild. Unfortunately, the whole pregnancy/childbirth/infancy experience was not as smooth as it could’ve been, so my daughter is reluctant to do it again. 

Edited by Gray Beard
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