Another Fan Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 22 hours ago, NoHuddleKelly12 said: My parents are polar opposites, but I get along with both, just in different ways. My mom is basically a saint, has been my entire life, and I owe her the world basically in terms of what she's put up with in successfully raising 5 children, while maintaining her constant good cheer. My father who grew up in the difficult days of wartime and then post-war Germany (my grandfather was an ex-soldier who believed that he had to raise his own son in such a way as to steel him mentally against the horrors of any future war--he later was on record as saying he regretted how tough he was on my father), learned to never openly show loving emotion, and to this day still cannot bring himself to say the "L" word to any of us grown kids. That said, he was always the hard-working provider and man of good deeds, which is how he showed us that he loved us, and we've accepted that's just his way, as we've grown older. For the past decade, he's rented a house in Myrtle Beach each summer for the entire extended family to meet up at and have a reunion of sorts for a week at a time, and that's become a treasured tradition. With my own kids, I have to tell them daily that I love them, until they tell me enough already! Cool. Your dad kinda reminds me of mine minus the wartime stuff. He never used the L word and the only time I got a hug from him was whenever he was gonna undergo surgery. In reality his father was probably that way if not sterner to him. Yeah some people have ways of showing love even if it’s not totally clear 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLTbills Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 Haven't talked to my mom in probably 3 years, which is fine with me. Don't want her around my kid. My life instantly became less stressful when I cut her out. I wish my dad were still around, though. He died of cancer when I was a senior in high school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Goat Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 On 9/11/2019 at 1:48 PM, DC Tom said: Take a wild guess... Your dad was Tom Petty? ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuvian Posted September 16, 2019 Share Posted September 16, 2019 my parents divorced after they retired as empty nesters. As I live in Ontario and they are in BC it didn't affect me as much as my siblings. When we see them now we do so separately. In recent years they have come together for family events even though both of them have taken up with new people. I have always gotten along with them well socially but as parents I see them as failures. They have more or less tacitly admitted that they were. As a result, I am wildly overcompensating with the way I parent my kids. When my siblings and I get together we tell each other that whatever normalcy we have in our lives has been hard earned and uninherited. My father refuses to pick up the phone or make any effort at contact outside of a few e-mails. His only grandson is less than an hour away and he makes no effort to be a part of his life. He is not someone I turn for advice because he's usually hammered when I call and is too apathetic about his kids to offer much. He offered nothing in the way of career advice, investment advice, education advice or any related encouragement - all of which he could have done for free. My mother is much more accessible emotionally. She was depressed most of her life and was a stay at home parent. She was quite pampered and never had to work yet complained endlessly about my emotionally remote hard boozing father - always threatening to leave him. In the end he left her. I have always found her quite self absorbed. Still, they are my parents and I would like to be closer so as to be of support in their declining years - not because they are so deserving but because doing so is still the right thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanM.D. Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 my dad died when I was in my late 20's. He never said 'no' to anything that mattered. "Dad...I need your time/help/guidance/support etc." He was an awesome man. Definitely a silent type who spoke volumes with his actions. My mom gave my brother and I everything she could. She always put our needs above her own. I've been blessed in ways they never were but they made sure our family was rich. I was a fortunate kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Royale with Cheese Posted September 18, 2019 Share Posted September 18, 2019 (edited) Nope. Both of my parents have been short tempered people growing up. I do talk to my dad more though because he actually tries to be nice sometimes. I haven't spoken to my mom in about 6 weeks. My brother hasn't spoken to her in about 2 years. She has zero problem crossing lines with anyone and becomes very difficult when she's upset. My divorce with my wife wasn't because of my mom but it added stress to my marriage. My mom never really liked her so she didn't want her around much....my ex was never allowed in my mom's house. It wasn't like they got into a fight or anything, my mom just didn't like her enough to have her in the house. I'm not lying either. Edited September 18, 2019 by Royale with Cheese 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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