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Advice About a Cursed Jersey


Ennjay

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Years ago when the Bills were wearing Donahoe navy blue, a buddy owed me a payoff on a bet and gave me a Bills jersey with my name on it.  I've worn it to watch games on TV over the years, usually with the Bills losing, but I tended to blame the Bills and not the jersey.  Today I got fed up enough to change into a Bills T-shirt late in the second quarter.  After the change Vedvik missed his FG, the Bills didn't have another turnover for the rest of the game, and JA, Brown and Singletary got hot.

 

Obviously the jersey is cursed.

 

Anybody have any ideas?  Can a jersey curse be lifted?  If not, do I burn it?  (I don't know if burning would work since it's mostly polyester -- do I melt it?)   Do I bury it?  Boil it in garlic?  Donate it to a third-world orphan?

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2 minutes ago, Ennjay said:

Years ago when the Bills were wearing Donahoe navy blue, a buddy owed me a payoff on a bet and gave me a Bills jersey with my name on it.  I've worn it to watch games on TV over the years, usually with the Bills losing, but I tended to blame the Bills and not the jersey.  Today I got fed up enough to change into a Bills T-shirt late in the second quarter.  After the change Vedvik missed his FG, the Bills didn't have another turnover for the rest of the game, and JA, Brown and Singletary got hot.

 

Obviously the jersey is cursed.

 

Anybody have any ideas?  Can a jersey curse be lifted?  If not, do I burn it?  (I don't know if burning would work since it's mostly polyester -- do I melt it?)   Do I bury it?  Boil it in garlic?  Donate it to a third-world orphan?

Set yourself on fire.

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Burn it, is it a witch? Did it turn you into a newt?

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9 minutes ago, Ennjay said:

Years ago when the Bills were wearing Donahoe navy blue, a buddy owed me a payoff on a bet and gave me a Bills jersey with my name on it.  I've worn it to watch games on TV over the years, usually with the Bills losing, but I tended to blame the Bills and not the jersey.  Today I got fed up enough to change into a Bills T-shirt late in the second quarter.  After the change Vedvik missed his FG, the Bills didn't have another turnover for the rest of the game, and JA, Brown and Singletary got hot.

 

Obviously the jersey is cursed.

 

Anybody have any ideas?  Can a jersey curse be lifted?  If not, do I burn it?  (I don't know if burning would work since it's mostly polyester -- do I melt it?)   Do I bury it?  Boil it in garlic?  Donate it to a third-world orphan?

Burn it than bury it

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Whatever you did with it, do that again. What happened when you took it off, did you throw it on the floor or a chair in the room? was it in a laundry basket? Rituals must be repeated.

 

Unfortunately for me, I turned off the game in the third quarter and started watching that Godawful Baywatch movie. Guess what I have to do when the game is on next week? And I really will because as Bills fan, I am so very, very damaged and crazy.

Edited by ocemur
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1 hour ago, Ennjay said:

Years ago when the Bills were wearing Donahoe navy blue, a buddy owed me a payoff on a bet and gave me a Bills jersey with my name on it.  I've worn it to watch games on TV over the years, usually with the Bills losing, but I tended to blame the Bills and not the jersey.  Today I got fed up enough to change into a Bills T-shirt late in the second quarter.  After the change Vedvik missed his FG, the Bills didn't have another turnover for the rest of the game, and JA, Brown and Singletary got hot.

 

Obviously the jersey is cursed.

 

Anybody have any ideas?  Can a jersey curse be lifted?  If not, do I burn it?  (I don't know if burning would work since it's mostly polyester -- do I melt it?)   Do I bury it?  Boil it in garlic?  Donate it to a third-world orphan?

Bury it for2 years

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OK, here's what you have to do.

 

First: anoint the cursed jersey with the tears of a child Bill's fan, shed in a moment of joy received from a Buffalo Bills moment.

 

Second: simultaneously burn a Jets, Dolphins, and Patriots jersey in sacrifice.

 

Third: Play and sing along to the Bills fight song as performed by Marv Levy three times.

 

 Lastly: have the jersey touched by any living ex-Buffalo Bill who is enshrined in the Hall of Fame.

 

These steps will lift the curse.

 

 

 

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