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The Rise of the Snowplow Sports Parents


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Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

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2 hours ago, yungmack said:

Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

 

more science ends up with no NFL

 

kind of ironic for you to pretend you care

 

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my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

I was a very good soccer player growing up and instead of going to my local public school lew port i went to canisius.  the guys that i grew up playing with since i was like 5 won a couple state titles in high school and many of them went on to play at penn st, nc, and others. I wound up quitting soccer cause of one bad coach and always look back and wonder.  I sitll ended up in another sport and was really good but college didnt offer many scholarships for it. My parents didn't push me at all in anything really.  Grades, sports, anything.  I just wonder what would have happened if they would have planned a little more?  

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2 hours ago, yungmack said:

Imagine this amount of passion, money & attention devoted to other pursuits, such as science. Maybe we'd take back our tech sector from dependency on foreign engineers. Lots of college scholarships going to foreign students while our kids fight for places on lacrosse teams, with degrees that qualify them for barrista jobs.

My daughter had a friend in grad school who was from India. He couldn’t understand why popularity was tied to athletic ability in the US.  In his school, popularity was tied to the ability to help you with your homework.

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24 minutes ago, Capco said:

 

You've convinced me.  Science is bad.  

 

i don't see 120,000 fans cheering a chemistry book on Saturdays

 

some schools close all campus libraries during football games

 

(I know... some balance will never be achieved....)

 

 

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2 minutes ago, row_33 said:

 

i don't see 120,000 fans cheering a chemistry book on Saturdays

 

some schools close all campus libraries during football games

 

I happen to be a chemical engineer so it's ironic you chose to use chemistry.  But that's part of the problem: too many would rather be entertained than educated.  A highly entertained but poorly educated populace stinks of the mob in Rome.  

 

Also, science is literally the reason why we have the free time to partake in things like sports and other forms of entertainment...

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19 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I agree with you.  Not (factor into pushing our children in sports) with us either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

 How much are they or you in debt for their education?

 

I will say, the BIL is a doctor and his parents paid as they went. He married a doctor who did not have that option with her family. They are paying for their oldest to start law school in a couple months, while the wife is still (I’m pretty sure) dealing with her students loans. I get that’s it’s a HUGE deal! 

 

I didn’t mean to discount that earlier. We were part smart, and part lucky.  Wife comes from a family where even if they went out to dinner and payed for 20 people, they paid cash. Don’t do what you can’t afford. My family? Not so much. It's the old “be a good teacher or a horrible example”. You can learn from either. 

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1 hour ago, Capco said:

 

I happen to be a chemical engineer so it's ironic you chose to use chemistry.  But that's part of the problem: too many would rather be entertained than educated.  A highly entertained but poorly educated populace stinks of the mob in Rome.  

 

Also, science is literally the reason why we have the free time to partake in things like sports and other forms of entertainment...

 

I consider your specialty to be the most difficult in academics, well done!

 

 balance is required, I won’t say where it is, but people feel saying “a balance is required” is good enough to move on

 

 

 

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23 hours ago, Ol Dirty B said:

 

I'm 30. Played college sports. This happened when I was growing up.

 

Anyone who thinks it's new just hasn't been around that environment.

 

Trevor Cooney's mom complained to Boeheim his first year at Syracuse. It always goes on. I remember at times growing up being disgusted with parents on my team. Also with other teams parents. I've had parents say some crazy stuff to me, never bothered me it was always entertaining.

I used to officiate for a non competitive youth football league. They didn't even keep score! Never taken so much abuse and there were "near" fights EVERY game. It's crazy.

On 6/23/2019 at 6:17 PM, BADOLBILZ said:

 

 

People hate change.

 

In their day you played baseball for 2 months then you took two months off and then played football for 2 months etc..

 

What that yielded was a whole lotta' talented athletes falling thru the cracks.

 

The difference now is that some are lost to burnout from over exposure..........but the net trade-off is worth it.........I am involved in youth sports and the kids are better players and nicer kids than ever.      The bad stories about parents aren't anything new.

 

For sure. "Specialization" is definitely newish and that could be debated. Overzealous parents? Old as time.

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4 hours ago, aristocrat said:

my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

 

First of all, you've got to let it happen naturally if he has a love for the game and just support him.

 

I was pretty good, but had it forced on me and really burned me out but the time I was a teenager. I played in college, but it made for some miserable times. Sometimes, I'd rather have had more of a normal childhood in getting to hang out with friends, take vacations and stuff like that. But with soccer, it was 3 or 4 days a week in the winter and almost every weekend in the summer. Plus 2 games during the week and two practices. The two or three weeks between seasons were consumed with camps and try outs.

 

It was a good experience, but it was a lot. The ones who are really great will enjoy that. I also didn't really have any friends who played soccer or developed friendships with teammates because until college it was almost a whole new team every year. 

 

Secondly, the euro academies teams like Barca, Bayern, and some other teams have set up in the states are a complete money grab. Most of the developmental teams, academies in the US are. It has improved a lot, but they are still a money grab that just associate with a professional club for marketing purposes. Home grown players are actually becoming a thing in the last few years, but it still is rare. 

 

The academies in Europe I believe Americans can only get in before 17 if they have an ability to get a EU passport. If you, or you're parents immigrated here from Europe you might be eligible to get one depending on the country. 

 

You should read up on how Pulisic grew up. He was motivated, loved the game, but his family kept him very well balanced.

 

Where are you from? Feel free to PM me. Just trying to offer some friendly advice. I've got family members who were professionals, and friends and teammates who went on as well. I've been offered to have my USF soccer licenses paid for but I just don't have the time for the classes with work.

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My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

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2 minutes ago, That's No Moon said:

My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

 

No that's the complete opposite. The mom clearing him and the coach are being snow plow parents. 

 

I've been misdiagnosed by a high school trainer, no where near as seriously it was an ankle injury. I couldn't walk I skipped school the next day after being injured and came in for treatment two days later.

 

She said if it was in the state tournament I'd tape you up and you'd play, but we have a couple weeks so you can take a couple days off. I'm like this is high school, I got potential offers, but naive 17 year old me just took her at her word. Over 10 years later and I can't cut off my left ankle. I played all my college career having to be taped up for every practice and game. Sometimes again at half time. I can tweak it just walking. Which isn't ideal to be taped up as a soccer player because it restricts the flexibility required in that foot to manipulate the ball.

 

I learned a few years later she was definitely full of *****. My brother complained to her about knee pain just from running for a couple years. She basically said it was in his head and he was fine. Finally saw a specialist and the cartilage in his knee was gone and it was bone scraping bone and required surgery. 

 

I never trust amateurs and coaches even at the youth levels with health issues because idk if it is some weird thirst for success or ignorance. A lot of them don't seem to have the best intentions for players. 

 

If I were you, especially your expertise in this area, you're definitely in the right pulling your kid. What they did is completely irresponsible.

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15 hours ago, That's No Moon said:

My son got a new coach this year. We had concerns from day 1 as the previous year this particular coach had called timeouts during the game and had his team skate suicides during the entire timeout.  This had happened multiple times.  We raised our concerns to the club board and we were essentially ignored.  Ok, fine, we'll give it a shot. 

 

This past Saturday, a kid (not mine) takes an obvious hit to the head in open ice and goes down.  Play stops and he's brought to the bench.  He misses a shift but is allowed to go back on the ice for another shift or two. Then he sits for the rest of the period and beginning of the next with his head in his hands on the bench. A couple minutes into the second period he leaves the bench and goes to the locker room. He's in there for a couple minutes with the team manager who is a Mom, not a trained medical professional of any kind.  He emerges from the locker room, goes back to the bench and is allowed to get back on the ice and take shifts.  This is in violation of multiple protocols AND state law in the state the club is located in.  The state extended it's concussion protocol law to cover non-school leagues 2 years ago.  If there is any suspicion of a head injury the player is not permitted to resume play until cleared by a medical professional. Period. It does not matter if the kid or the parent consent to have them play, they are out until they are evaluated.

 

As part of my job I'm the athletic director for a school.  If any of my coaches did either of these things I'd have to fire them for cause. I cant fire my son's hockey coach so I pulled him from the entire program Sunday morning and he will be playing for a different organization this season. Snowplow parenting or no?

 

you did the right thing

 

where was the AD at Michigan when RichRod sent his obviously concussed QB onto the field and the kid didn't even know which huddle to run to?

 

 

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On 6/24/2019 at 7:16 AM, BarleyNY said:

Good article, but I would’ve liked to have seen SI dig into the harm this does to the kids.  Parents who have their own identities yoked so tightly to their children’s is incredibly detrimental to their kids.  It goes way beyond simply being proud of their kids and becomes very toxic.  The result is kids never learn to deal with failure and can’t function properly as adults and parents whose identities are inappropriately tied to their children’s success.

 

For those players that do make it professionally I get that parents want to help protect their (even adult) children from being taken advantage of.  But I think they cross a line when their livelihoods hare tied to their children’s earnings and success.  That’s a major conflict of interest. 

 

For the average kids, there are so many travel teams, premier teams, camps ,private trainers, etc., etc.  They’re all selling the dream and telling parents how great their kids are, but they’re all just out to make a buck.  My daughter plays premier soccer locally and regionally.  Every last parent (other than me) on the regional team thinks their daughter is getting a D1 scholarship.  It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.  I doubt that there’s a single one.  If there is, there be no way to know which girl right now anyway.  We’re likely bumping back down to travel next season.  Premier isn’t worth the money.  The coaching isn’t any better and I don’t like being lied to and treated like a sucker. 

 

So very true and sad. And yes it is getting worse. Helicopter parents trying way to hard to live vicariously through their kids is becoming more intense with each generation. As a parent over 60 who coached little league for 15 years I saw it first hand. And I too got caught up in it. You have to let kids 6-12 to have lives and fun beyond the organized sports they're participating in. 85% of kids quit their sport after the age of 12/13. Travel ball can do more damage than good for a well rounded child hoping to maybe someday play D1 sports. Let the kid breathe.....

 

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On 6/24/2019 at 4:34 PM, aristocrat said:

my son is almost 3 and kicks the soccer ball so well. i'm already checking out how to get him into one of those euro soccer club training squads. but seriously i can't wait for my kid to do sports but i am a little worried how i will react if he has talent. 

 

I was a very good soccer player growing up and instead of going to my local public school lew port i went to canisius.  the guys that i grew up playing with since i was like 5 won a couple state titles in high school and many of them went on to play at penn st, nc, and others. I wound up quitting soccer cause of one bad coach and always look back and wonder.  I sitll ended up in another sport and was really good but college didnt offer many scholarships for it. My parents didn't push me at all in anything really.  Grades, sports, anything.  I just wonder what would have happened if they would have planned a little more?  

Go for it!  Live vicariously through your children! ? 

 

My grandfather had a saying:

"The hound would have got the fox if he didn't stop to take a *****."

 

I am not quite sure what that truly means... But I have an idea and I think it sorta fits here. Stop wondering the woulda, coulda, shoulda's of life when the everyday necessities of the world dictate what you do and when you do it. 

 

(I) hope I interjected a little (albeit coarse) wisdom on this wonderful morning.  If not, hold your poo in and carry on. ?

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All these involved parents just don’t get it.  Tons of the ‘a football life’ bios about great players describe fathers ditching their kids.  Steve Largent,Ray Lewis... the list goes on

 

If you want your kid to have a chip on their shoulder that helps them succeed, don’t get involved, the formula is clear.

 

You just need a ‘this this hurts me more than you’ line ?

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