The Rise of the Snowplow Sports Parents

[MJS]

10 hours ago, JoeF said:

There has always been that element MJS, but having kids over a long period -- age range 25 to 6, I believe it gets worse with every generation.  I agree with gobills1212, the minority of over officious (to quote Marv) parents 15 years ago has now become the majority. 

 

Case in point, the parental group for my daughter's HS state champion lacrosse teams her junior and senior years (3 years ago), where 8 young ladies who were sophomores, juniors and seniors her senior year got D1 Scholarships, was better behaved than my 6 year old son's bumble bee soccer team parents. 

 

Yesterday, my little guy at halftime looked at the parent of one of his teammates and said, "Your kid is good, just let him play, don't tell him what to do and don't tell the coach what to do with him." No matter where my guy goes in sports, he has learned to spot and call out jerks.  He and I talked about this for a while after the game.  He asked me if I was mad at him for being disrespectful to an adult...I said that the adult was acting like a kid -- so it was okay.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

Edited June 24, 2019 by MJS

[Poleshifter]

11 hours ago, JoeF said:

Yesterday, my little guy at halftime looked at the parent of one of his teammates and said, "Your kid is good, just let him play, don't tell him what to do and don't tell the coach what to do with him." No matter where my guy goes in sports, he has learned to spot and call out jerks.  He and I talked about this for a while after the game.  He asked me if I was mad at him for being disrespectful to an adult...I said that the adult was acting like a kid -- so it was okay.

This is great! How old is this little guy? It's a pretty mature thing to do (doing it respectfully, that is).

 

[Ol Dirty B]

46 minutes ago, MJS said:

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

 

Nope. We are clearly the worst generation. We'll just pay for all the stuff the holy signed up for but couldn't afford. Then pay into a social security system for them that I'll never see a penny from.

 

This world was absolutely perfect until like 1985. This board is covered in mold it's so old.

Edited June 24, 2019 by Ol Dirty B

[JoeF]

5 hours ago, Poleshifter said:

This is great! How old is this little guy? It's a pretty mature thing to do (doing it respectfully, that is).

 

He's 6 and a half, Poleshifter, but he is surrounded by older siblings who play or played sports.  He is a confident little man. He had something to say and he said it. It was more effective than anything an adult could say.  The over officious Dad didn't say a lot the second half of the game. 

 

The thing I loved best is that he said it just "matter of fact" like when the dad was butting into the halftime huddle.  He wasn't obnoxious but he said it loud enough for me to hear as I was handing out halftime waters.  I don't think many outside the huddle heard it. 

 

The kid is already smarter than me...damn...

6 hours ago, MJS said:

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that when my kids are old enough to be in sports, but I remember plenty of parents like that when I was young playing sports, and I'm sure everyone else can too. Plenty of stories of NFL players with overbearing and hyper involved parents from decades ago.

 

I don't doubt that it is becoming more prevalent, but my point is just that this isn't a new problem. It's a decades old problem and will continue to be a problem forever.

 

And I highly doubt that it is the majority of parents that way. People just notice the jerks and don't notice the parents who aren't.

 

EDIT: And I'll just add that there hasn't been a generation in the history of the planet that hasn't complained about the new, rising generation.

I agree MJS...I am an old curmudgeon with a young son and the obnoxious parents do stand out...I just don't get being that way.  I want to see my kids play for the love of the sport and the love of team.  I never wanted my behavior to take away from that love.

[Todd Allan]

14 hours ago, Just Joshin' said:

Yes I will sound like old guy but this is another symptom of the "me first" attitude society has been evolving towards.  It only matters what is the impact on me, ignoring the impact on others or the society as a whole.

 

You reminded me of another reason that I love the team we've built here. Today, like in the Polian era, the Bills look for players with character.

Who is the leader on a team filled with leaders?

We don't know yet, but the creme always rises to the top.

[row_33]

31 minutes ago, ToddAllan said:

 

You reminded me of another reason that I love the team we've built here. Today, like in the Polian era, the Bills look for players with character.

Who is the leader on a team filled with leaders?

We don't know yet, but the creme always rises to the top.

 

Sorry you missed it, but Thurman and Bruce were leaders and stars in college, Jim Kelly slightly less but still acclaimed as supremely talented

 

This team has nobody with these credentials

 

 

 

[oldmanfan]

10 minutes ago, row_33 said:

 

Sorry you missed it, but Thurman and Bruce were leaders and stars in college, Jim Kelly slightly less but still acclaimed as supremely talented

 

This team has nobody with these credentials

 

 

 

Yet.

[teef]

i fully plan on beating my kids into being athletic.  i don't see how it can go wrong.

[dave mcbride]

19 hours ago, Warcodered said:

https://www.si.com/nfl/2019/06/19/snowplow-parents-sports

 

 

Great story. Thanks for posting.

[dave mcbride]

12 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said:

 

 

People hate change.

 

In their day you played baseball for 2 months then you took two months off and then played football for 2 months etc..

 

What that yielded was a whole lotta' talented athletes falling thru the cracks.

 

The difference now is that some are lost to burnout from over exposure..........but the net trade-off is worth it.........I am involved in youth sports and the kids are better players and nicer kids than ever.      The bad stories about parents aren't anything new.

 

I thnk that’s right up to a point, but I also think that a larger percentage of parents now than in the past see sports as a ticket to their kid’s life success, and they plan and shape accordingly. It has always been bad, but I do think it IS crazier now. After a decade of travel/high school baseball In which I saw a small handful of my son’s teammates and friends end up at good programs (Duke, West Virginia, Pitt, Cornell, William and Mary), I’ve sorta lived this. The vast majority did not, and even the ones who made it aren’t going to make any money playing MLB. That said, almost all of the kids were all nice and the vast majority of the parents were terrific people. This is just me, but I didn’t see much in the way of burnout. Overall, it was a very good experience, and focusing mostly on one sport where he could hone his craft was good for him. Anyway, what this article is describing is it’s a real thing, but it’s hardly a red-alert crisis.

[Augie]

10 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

I agree with you.  Not (factor into pushing our children in sports) with us either.  But there are people NOT making gobs of money that it does factor into why they are pushing their children.  They may see it as their only hope out of the stifling debt that a quality education brings with it.

 How much are they or you in debt for their education?

 

Zero. Planned ahead with Florida pre-paid when they were infants. Scholarships for good grades, then pay as you go. Combined for three undergrad degrees and a Masters in accounting. But I understand for many it’s a very big deal. 

[BarleyNY]

Good article, but I would’ve liked to have seen SI dig into the harm this does to the kids.  Parents who have their own identities yoked so tightly to their children’s is incredibly detrimental to their kids.  It goes way beyond simply being proud of their kids and becomes very toxic.  The result is kids never learn to deal with failure and can’t function properly as adults and parents whose identities are inappropriately tied to their children’s success.

 

For those players that do make it professionally I get that parents want to help protect their (even adult) children from being taken advantage of.  But I think they cross a line when their livelihoods hare tied to their children’s earnings and success.  That’s a major conflict of interest. 

 

For the average kids, there are so many travel teams, premier teams, camps ,private trainers, etc., etc.  They’re all selling the dream and telling parents how great their kids are, but they’re all just out to make a buck.  My daughter plays premier soccer locally and regionally.  Every last parent (other than me) on the regional team thinks their daughter is getting a D1 scholarship.  It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.  I doubt that there’s a single one.  If there is, there be no way to know which girl right now anyway.  We’re likely bumping back down to travel next season.  Premier isn’t worth the money.  The coaching isn’t any better and I don’t like being lied to and treated like a sucker. 

 

[row_33]

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

[teef]

1 hour ago, row_33 said:

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

[row_33]

21 minutes ago, teef said:

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

 

for her age she is aware of what getting a top NCAA scholarship is worth, but there is no infrastructure to help out with a decent plan for the next 2 years

 

and a few from my hometown did well in the US, and have found a good career in coaching after college and the Olympics

 

 

[YoloinOhio]

12 minutes ago, teef said:

i think if she puts some stats/tape together, she can send it out to coaches at schools she may want to attend.

Pretty sure that’s what josh Allen ended up doing on his own 

[row_33]

it's kind of different for a girl who excels at hammer throwing and the like.... this is a unique niche that isn't the same as team sports;

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

2 hours ago, row_33 said:

my parent's neighbour is a high school sophomore girl with a (track and) field throwing prowess that should merit her a full ride in a US top school

 

nobody has a clue at the high school or city or family how to deal with this properly

 

i have contacted 2 friends who have ties to major track and field programs, hopefully to start the process of getting her in better training regimens and off to a good school

 

 

 

Where does the school come up with the $$$ for this scholarship?  What kind of revenue and importance does "track and field" bring in for the school?

 

Pull it out of the hoarded endowment?

 

Where does the money come from?  Some can throw well and it warrants a free ride?  While somebody gets straight As and is in top tier of their class(and is say a male, gasp I even go there) they get boopkiss? Or, a few crumbs thrown their way.

 

Like everything, if this was 1936 it wouldn't have been a problem.  Too many free rides vs. not enough people paying leads to astronomical college costs for few that gotta pay.

 

How is this NOT any different than showing up at the E.R. with no health insurance and the common cold? Then the ones that show up with health insurance get gouged.

 

The dumbing down of society in a jock driven world. I don't get the logic.

 

Maybe it's good (for the rest) that nobody at family level and HS have a clue. ???

Edited June 24, 2019 by ExiledInIllinois

[Irv]

My daughter is a D1 athlete.  I'm pretty sure I spent as much or more on coaching and travel to meets than she is getting for a scholarship.  Unless you are a top football or basketball star I really don't think it's worth it.   Most parents are delusional. 

 

 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Irv

[Buddy Hix]

My son is four and just now starting to play sports, but my eyes were opened to how crazy sport parents/coaches have become about two years ago. My nephew is a good little hockey player, seven years old at the time and playing for the select team for our region. My first shock came when the children all arrived in the same team issued outfits, that I was told were very costly. Next, I see the coaches take the bench wearing full suits. Those coaches proceeded to smash sticks against the boards later in the game when a call went against them as the parents I was sitting next to cursed at the top of their lungs. I was disgusted and said something to my brother-in-law, he looked at me like I was from another world, this is a normal occurrence for coaches and parents....of seven year olds. I haven't been to another game.

 

 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Buddy Hix