Jump to content

Bold predictions (flippin' off the haters edition)


BobDVA

Recommended Posts

1) New Era Stadium plays the theme Song from the Golden Girls every time Shady or Gore score a touchdown. 

 

2) Coach McD changes from clapping to jazz hands. It catches on and replaces the high five league wide.

 

3) Tom Brady is caught writing off visits to a male prostitute as a Nutritional Consultant. Video emerges of him eating ice cream off the body of the young man. Sports Illustrated notes the Tom simultaneously cheated on his wife, his taxes and his diet, then immediately declares Brady its Sportsperson of the Year.

 

4) The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl 45-16 over the LA Rams. Businesses, Schools and non essential Government offices are closed for three days. Supplies of beer and liquor are rerouted from Cleveland and Pittsburgh as local inventories are quickly depleted. The Parade makes St Patty's day look like an AA meeting. Two national reporters doing stand up shots along the planned route are never heard from again. Raucous fans cause the parade to reroute onto the 290/190 beltway and the parade itself circles the city for 36 hours. A February Toga party breaks out in the Chippewa district. A group calling itself The Sons of Labatt's issues a Declaration of Independence from New York State, The United States, The United Nations and The Planet Earth. It is not clear what area they are declaring as independent. In a follow up, they issue "The Bills of Rights". Items listed include alcohol will be available for sale before 8 AM on Sundays and Tom Brady cheats. 

 

As February gives way to March, both Governor Cuomo and President Trump refuse to send in The National Guard. Local Units of the Guard have taken up positions blocking the Thruway. When approached, the simply grab their crotches and shout, "We've got your #$@^@%%^ tolls right here!" and hurl empty beer cans at anyone within range. Boats carrying liquor and beer are seen frequently offloading at docks all along the lake front in what becomes known by the National Media as "the Buffalo Boat Lift". 

 

By April, internet connections with the Buffalo Area have been cut. The Federal Government reports that tax receipts from the area are down by 97% over the previous year, although they have received over 2,500 Josh Allen rookie cards. During the broadcast of the 2020 NFL draft, there are no Bills representatives seen until 8 seconds remaining on the clock to make the 32nd pick in the draft, Brandon Beane strides across the stage. He has a two month beard and one eyebrow shaved. He's wearing only a kilt and moon boots and drinking something obscured by a paper bag. He sets the bag down on the podium and gives a Roger Goodell a nuggie. He then approaches the microphone and says, "With the 32nd pick in the 2020 NFL draft, The WORLD CHAMPION BUFFALO BILLS SELECT JACK DANIELS,  WHISKEY, TENNESSEE."

  • Like (+1) 1
  • Haha (+1) 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ocemur said:

1) New Era Stadium plays the theme Song from the Golden Girls every time Shady or Gore score a touchdown.

Social activists are outraged at this apparent act of ‘ageism’.  Bills fans over the age of 50 have no clue as to the reason for the umbrage.

  • Thank you (+1) 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...