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A Quick Laugh to Get By


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a doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. ‘the material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago… red meat is awful. soft drinks corrode your stoma

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I had a rose named after me and I was flattered until I read the description. 

No good in bed but fine against the wall.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

The secret of a good sermon is a good beginning and good ending and have the two be as close as possible.

 

George Burns

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3 hours ago, Warcodered said:

So perusing YouTube I've randomly discovered the source.

 

With that kind of "perusing" I might suggest you clear your browser history and for good measure, spray bleach on your hard drive.

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So a man is on his way home from work and he stops to buy a bouquet of roses for his lovely wife.

 

He walks in the door and hands the flowers over to his bride with a big smile on his face.

 

Snidely, his wife says “Great, now I guess I have to spread my legs.”

 

The man replies “Don’t you have a vase or something?”

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