The Real Buffalo Joe Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 23 hours ago, YoloinOhio said: Charlie: I got shitcanned recently and included in the email my humorless prick of a boss wrote about why I should be fired was an anecdote about how I basically shouted “ARE YOU !@#$ING KIDDING ME?!” in the middle of our large, crowded floor when I heard Eli was getting benched for Geno Smith. I stand by that reaction. This reminds of the time I was working in a call center in Texas. I was training some newbies, and they were listening to my call. When we thought the call was over, they asked "You're from New York, are you a Jets fan?" "I'm a Bills fan. F*** the Jets." Then heard "Hello?" on the other end. I didn't get in any documented trouble, but got a stern talking to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heitz Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Love these so much ? Quote Here we have the most overly mannered of NFL franchises. A team that’s run like a Park Avenue co-op board. A team would play in formal morning suits if the uniform code allowed for it. The Giants are so thirsty to appear dignified that it is truly, deeply awesome to watch them spend an entire season stepping on rakes. and Quote Imagine being left at the altar by Josh McDaniels, and imagine being SURPRISED by it. Hard to believe such a high-character fellow would do such a thing! We’ll never get the real truth as to why McDaniels ditched the Colts, because McDaniels is a proven liar and sh*tbag. As it stands now, the story goes that he changed his mind at the last second after the Patriots gave him a fat raise and Bill Belichick promised to give him greater access to “the inner workings of the organization” (namely, the team’s Clomid lab and its Cave Of The Unspeakable). McDaniels also claims he was NOT promised the head coaching gig if/when Belichick finally retires to live in an abandoned lighthouse. Do you buy ANY of that? Of course you don’t. Only a credentialed NFL reporter would be dumb enough to believe that. Really a nice way to brighten a day at work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frostbitmic Posted August 1, 2018 Share Posted August 1, 2018 Pure Gold ... What has always sucked: I’m sure the six remaining sober residents of Indiana will tell you that this is still a basketball state, but I know better. IU basketball is pure **** and will never return to prominence. No one cares about Purdue. The Pacers are playoff chum for the inferior NBA conference. Hoosiers has aged about as well as a full cup of urine. Once Peyton gifted this state a title (in the most underwhelming Super Bowl victory of my lifetime), all the fat humps slowly migrated from being unreasonable hoopheads to being unreasonable NFL fanboys. They thought they could carry on as happy football lovers when the Colts replaced Peyton with Luck, but now Luck is trapped at the bottom of a well and the rest of the Colts have long since been exposed as frauds and conmen. Every NFL team is a rich !@#$’s broken toy, but in Jim Irsay’s hands, the Colts are the MOST broken toy. All of your sports are garbage now, Indiana! And frankly, that’s what you get for unleashing Mike Pence upon the rest of the country. !@#$ing Pence. Standing up and walking out of that game like a preening dipshit. I can’t believe Donald Trump managed to find the one person on Earth who would make a worse President to be his backup. Join us this season when Pence huffily burns his season tickets because he saw a lady’s exposed wrist on the concourse. Mike Pence can go deep throat horseshoes in hell. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 (edited) Haha, exactly what I think of BOB Your coach: Bill O’Brien. Every year, O’Brien makes his frowny diaper face on the sideline and then NFL beat guys are like, “This guy could be a sneaky hot commodity in the offseason market!” and then the Texans keep him aboard even though 9-7 is the absolute ceiling of any Bill O’Brien–coached team. I am baffled by the mystique this man holds over NFL front offices. Maybe it’s the chinbutt. I wonder what would happen if you really dug into that thing. I wonder if there’s very small, twinned Bill O’Brien head hidden within it. What if there’s a whole GALAXY in there, where every QB gets horribly injured and no defense is ever more than the sum of its parts? I am haunted by its mystery. Edited August 2, 2018 by YoloinOhio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dablitzkrieg Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 The chinbutt is awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridgewaycynic2013 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Denver's evaluation (evisceration?) is at Deadspin, posted Friday. This thread bump is brought to you as a public service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 Let me tell you something: when you trade three second-rounders to move up three spots, and the dude you end up drafting looks like a drunk teenager at a Nantucket wedding, you’ve made a terrible mistake. Granted, the Jets were wise to get rid of all their second rounders, because everyone they’ve ever drafted in that round ever has been a bust, but still. Last season Sam Darnold threw 13 picks and fumbled 12 times in 14 games. A USC quarterback with a fumbling problem? WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy10 Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 “Mike Francesa quit and then un-quit because no one else would hire him. Mike Francesa has a mouth full of veneers and a head full of soup.” ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 7, 2018 Author Share Posted August 7, 2018 Anyway, your temp QB for the first three weeks of the season is Ryan Fitzpatrick who, as we ALL know, went to Tulane. And I know there are already a few takes floating around about how Jameis might not necessarily get his job back, but come on. No one is buying that. The Bucs have the hardest three-game opening schedule in league history (Saints, Steelers, Eagles), and that’s not even counting the inevitable hurricane that will strike. Even if Fitzcountryclub here puts up one of his occasional 300-yard games with three TDs and two picks, they’re handing the ball back to that predatory fraud the second he’s eligible again. You could staff an entire Amazon headquarters with the people who have apologized for Jameis Winston. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemhoff Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 The one on the Bucs today was really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy10 Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 That picture of JPP's hand, tho.... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eball Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 (edited) HOW MANY PEOPLE WANNA EAT A W TONIGHT? Edited August 7, 2018 by eball 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 7, 2018 Author Share Posted August 7, 2018 16 minutes ago, jimmy10 said: That picture of JPP's hand, tho.... I was way underprepared for that! ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie's Dead Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 Fitzcountryclub? C'mon man, we glossed him WAY better here. Pickspatrick, Fitzmagic, Fitzbeardy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Murica Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 Not going to lie, I had the biggest **** eating grin while reading this. Man, I hate the jets and their fans so much. 2 minutes ago, Freddie's Dead said: Fitzcountryclub? C'mon man, we glossed him WAY better here. Pickspatrick, Fitzmagic, Fitzbeardy.... Always a fan of Shitspatrick 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heitz Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 Quote I spent two years in New York at the beginning of this decade. When I moved there, I naively Googled the location of the Buccaneers bar in the city. It was just down the street from my apartment - what luck! I headed down to said bar just before kickoff in week 1, walk in and... no Bucs fans. One of the line cooks had a throwback Bucs hat on, which must have been the reason for its inclusion in the list. I had to ask to get one TV switched to the game. As far as I know Tampa is the only team that doesn’t have enough fans in the largest city in the country to warrant even an informal meeting place. We are utterly irrelevant, other than the fact that our current quarterback is the dumbest ahole in the league. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
row_33 Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 The Bucs were 9-7 in 2016, then went back to the normal 5-11. Sounds like a once-in-2-decades 9-7 2017 team, where half the fans think this was anything worth celebrating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy10 Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Freddie's Dead said: Fitzcountryclub? C'mon man, we glossed him WAY better here. Pickspatrick, Fitzmagic, Fitzbeardy.... My personal favorite was always Fitzpicksix. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoloinOhio Posted August 8, 2018 Author Share Posted August 8, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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