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In honor of Father's Day, share some "Dad jokes"


WhoTom

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Many of us inherited our fanhood from our fathers. If your father also gave you a goofy sense of humor, share a "Dad joke" with us. Here's one from my childhood - an actual exchange between a waitress and my Dad.

 

Waitress: "Would you like your pizza cut into twelve pieces or sixteen pieces?"

 

Dad: "Twelve, please. We're not hungry enough to eat sixteen."

 

 

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"You think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

 

Not if it's in cans!"

 

"If the hound didn't stop to take a sh*t, it would have got the fox."

 

I guess not really jokes... But words of wisdom... How do You think I got so cray cray... ?

 

Oh... "Whether or not, we'll have weather."

Edited by ExiledInIllinois
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Q.  What's the most confusing day of the year in Wullerton, Saskatchewan?

 

A.  Father's Day.

 

This is only funny if you live in Dog River, Saskatchewan.  Try substituting 'Lancaster' and 'Cheektowaga' as the two hypothetical locations.  Creative individuals might even tinker this to insult one's in-laws.

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34 minutes ago, Buffalo716 said:

Dad-“ I’ve been happily married to your mother for 26 years... I haven’t lived with her for 25

 

Variation: We've been happily married for 20 years. 20 out of 30 ain't bad, huh?

 

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1 hour ago, Buffalo_Gal said:

lol.jpg

 

Who doesn’t need one of those?!?! We need a big wheels version for the beach. Big Wheels for Big Boys! I claim patent rights on the Big Wheels version! But you can stop by for a cold one. ?

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3 hours ago, Augie said:

When I stub my toe or close a door on my hand. 

 

OK, technically not jokes, but I’m a dad and it gets a serious laugh out of my kids every time. 

 

In my family, if someone says “ow,” someone else will say, “are you really hurt, or are you trying to make me feel good?”

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